Hear These Praises

2011-08-08T09:19:00.002-05:00

BEC RECORDINGS’ ARTIST JESSA ANDERSON SET TO RELEASE LABEL DEBUT,
NOT MYSELF ANYMORE ON SEPTEMBER 13

Seattle, WA...August 05, 2011...Earlier this year BEC Recordings’ announced the signing of female singer/songwriter Jessa Anderson. Her label debut, Not Myself Anymore, will release on September 13. The new single, “Fireflies” was co-written by Phillip LaRue and Pete Kipley and is going for adds at radio August 19. Fans can hear the new song as well as listen to Jessa talk about the meaning behind the song here. The label debut album is produced by Brandon Perdue and Kevin Bruchert as well as Pete Kipley on two tracks.

A 20-something Michigan native, Jessa, met her singer/songwriter husband, Jordan, while touring with Cedarville University. Shortly after she transferred to Belmont University and they married, the couple decided to pursue music full-time. With no back-up plan, they struck out on their own recording albums independently and booking their own shows. Jordan plays guitar for his wife, and he and their young daughter (Lorelei, of course inspired by “Gilmore Girls”) continue to travel with Jessa full-time. Her goal in songwriting and being an artist includes honesty and a genuineness that can be found in her music and life.

“We have a real life, and part of that is our relationship with God and praising Him, but other than that you’re taking your kids to school or you’re going to work or whatever you have to do that day. So to focus only on that one little sliver in your songwriting feels like cheating people out of what really happens,” shares Anderson, who believes talking about real-life issues makes her music accessible to Christians and non-Christians alike. “If all I say is ‘I love God,’ then [non-believers are] wondering, ‘OK, what if I don’t?’ I think everyone can relate on some level whether you have the same religious beliefs or not. Hopefully, I can connect with people and then share what God’s done in my life.”

Jessa will be taking this genuine approach on the road, as she will be touring with label-mate The Museum for the second leg of the Not For Sale Tour. It is through the Not For Sale tour that the artists hope to help people, regardless of their age or life stage, realize everyone has a roll to play to fight trafficking. She will also be traveling for dates in October overseas in Germany.

Make your move

2011-06-25T21:13:00.002-05:00

My favorite band, Third Day, released a new CD called Move. And so that's what I did! I know it had nothing to do with Third Day and more to do with my mother being sick again. I've known for years that there were storms coming that can't be prayed away. So in this we will stand...and having done all~stand. But what happens when the ground your standing on shakes beneath your feet, and the life is sucked out of the air that you breath? You stand. You stand until the day comes that you no longer stand here but stand before the God that you've believed in, that you've trusted in, who is your beginning and your end. I walked through death with my daddy, and while I'm not ready to go there with my mom, I am willing to stand, and trust in Jesus, my only hope. Leaning on friends doesn't mean that your not standing on your own...it just means your standing along side those who've chosen to stand with you. Ideally you'll be standing so close that you wont notice that your leaning... So forget that song by the Police, Don't Stand So Close To Me...I want, and need, all the friends who are not afraid to walk through the valley to stand again on the mountain of God with me! There will be dark days ahead, but there will be memories made that can't be taken away. Treasure your health. Treat it better than your wealth. And having done all...stand.

Houston...We've had a problem

2011-01-29T12:22:00.000-06:00

I have been writing most of my life. As a child, maybe just the requirements, but as I moved into High School I expanded my creative process. I wrote for the school news paper. I wrote for the city news paper. I secured a job writing commercials for the local radio station. I wrote songs for my yet-to-be-formed rock band, Fluid Vision. I wrote.
In December of 2008 my father died. For 2009 I slowed down in my writing. Forcing myself to complete a couple of assignments and attending my usual events, (like the Doves.) In 2010 I stopped writing. I don’t know if it can completely be blamed on depression over my fathers death, or on technology overload, heaven knows I put enough “tweets” and “Facebook status updates” out there. I had a really great friend tell me that I had moved my “line” in the sand. That I was allowing things to flow out of me that she hadn’t seen or heard before. I dismissed her comments (and quite frankly her) for a brief time.
In August of 2008 I had moved away from Jacksonville, FL, my home and my home church. I have been faithfully attending churches in Houston, but not really “feeling” any of them. I think I attended out of guilt. Not wanting to walk away “from” God but not exactly walking “toward” Him either. We’ve all read the scripture about your first love (Rev 2:4) It has played in my head for a year. Another scripture also plagued me over the past year is James 3:10-11. I have begun a new journey with a church here in Houston that I finally feel at home in. There, I have begun a new study…on James. Its funny how God can take simple words on a page and make them hit you where your hurting, yet use that hurting to heal you!
My first loves were simple: writing and music. While I’ve dreamed the lofty dreams of writing the song that touches the emotions of all who hear it, I’ve yet to hear one of my songs sung. But I have written the reviews, done the interviews, and seen my work in print (my own byline both in digital and actual print).
Houston, yes, we’ve had a problem. But I am praying that 2011 moves me back into God’s will for my life. I believe that it is writing, until He shows me something else, I will once again… write.

41st Annual GMA Dove Award Nominees: Here are my predictions!

2010-02-20T19:57:00.003-06:00

Here are my predictions in bold!! (and wishes in italic !)!

Artist of the Year:
Casting Crowns
Jars of Clay

New Artist of the Year:
Revive

Group of the Year
Casting Crowns
NEEDTOBREATHE OR
Jars of Clay I'd be happy with either...

Female Vocalist of the Year
Natalie Grant

Male Vocalist of the Year
Brandon Heath
Bebo Norman

Song of the Year
“I Will Rise” by Chris Tomlin and Louie Giglio
“Revelation Song” by Jennie Lee Riddle or
“Two Hands” by Jars of Clay

Producer of the Year
Ed Cash

Rap/Hip Hop Recorded Song of the Year
“End of My Rope,” KJ-52, by Jonah Sorrentino, Aaron Sprinkle
“Movin',” Group 1 Crew, by Jeremy James, Byron Chambers, Christopher Stevens

Rock Recorded Song of the Year
"Mess of Me,” Switchfoot, by Jonathan Foreman, Tim Foreman

Rock/Contemporary Recorded Song of the Year
“How He Loves,” David Crowder*Band, by John Mark McMillan
“Lay 'Em Down,” NEEDTOBREATHE, by Bear Rinehart and Bo Rinehart

Pop/Contemporary Recorded Song of the Year
“City On Our Knees,” TobyMac, by Toby McKeehan, Jamie Moore, Cary Barlowe
“Until The Whole World Hears,” Casting Crowns, by Mark Hall, Bernie Herms, Jason McArthur, Roger Glidewell

Inspirational Recorded Song of the Year
“Since the World Began,” Matt Maher, Amy Grant, Ed Cash, Mac Powell, by Mac Powell and Trevor Morgan

Southern Gospel Recorded Song of the Year
“Because He Lives,” Gaither Vocal Band, by William J. Gaither and Gloria Gaither
“Live With Jesus,” Oak Ridge Boys, by Paul Kennerley

Bluegrass Recorded Song of the Year
“This World Is Not My Home,” Ricky Skaggs, by Albert Brumley

Country Recorded Song of the Year
“God Is There,” Diamond Rio, by Marty Roe, Jimmy Olander and Bernie Herms
“King of the World,” Point of Grace, by Cindy Morgan

Contemporary Gospel Recorded Song of the Year
“The Power of One,” Israel Houghton, by Israel Houghton and Ricardo Sanchez

Worship Song of the Year
“I Will Rise” Chris Tomlin, by Louie Giglio, Chris Tomlin, Matt Maher and Jesse Reeves
“Revelation Song,” by Jennie Lee Riddle

Dove Awards in album categories are given to the artist and producer, if other than the artist.

Rock Album of the Year
Awake, Skillet, Howard Benson

Rock/Contemporary Album of the Year
The Outsiders, NEEDTOBREATHE; Rick Beato, NEEDTOBREATHE, Jim Scott and John Alagia

Pop/Contemporary Album of the Year
Speaking Louder Than Before, Jeremy Camp; Brown Bannister and Jeremy Camp
The Long Fall Back to Earth, Jars of Clay; Jars of Clay, Ron Aniello

Inspirational Album of the Year
A Grand New Day, Women of Faith Worship Team; Chance Scoggins
Fearless, Phillips, Craig & Dean; Bernie Herms

Traditional Gospel Album of the Year
Shout! Live, Mike Farris & The Roseland Rhythm Revue; Mike Farris and Joe McMahan

Special Event Album of the Year
Glory Revealed II: The Word of God In Worship, Mac Powell, Shane Everett, Jonathan Shelton, Brian Littrell, Trevor Morgan, Mark Hall, Jason Crabb, Bear Rinehart, Matt Maher, Amy Grant, Ed Cash, Geoff Moore, Natalie Grant, Laura Story, Brandon Heath, Mike Donehey, Aaron Shust, Shawn Lewis, Sara Evans, Bethany Dicks Olds, Shane & Shane, Bethany Dillon, Kari Jobe; Mac Powell, David Nassar
Oh Happy Day, Jonny Lang, Fisk Jubilee Singers, 3 Doors Down, Robert Randolph, Clark Sisters, Jon Bon Jovi, Al Green, Heather Headley, Mavis Staples, Patty Griffin, Michael McDonald, Angelique Kidjo, Aaron Neville, Queen Latifah, Joss Stone, Buick Audra; Ken Levitan, Bill Hearn, Jack Rouner, Ken Pennell, Cedric Thompson I know right? NOT VOTING FOR MAC POWELL?? but its JON BON JOVI!!!

Christmas Album of the Year
Glory In the Highest: Christmas Songs of Worship, Chris Tomlin; Ed Cash
The Family Force 5 Christmas Pageant, Family Force 5; Joe Baldridge
I think if FF5 wins this...it will be one of my highlights of the year!!

Praise & Worship Album of the Year
Church Music, David Crowder*Band; David Crowder*Band

Recorded Music Packaging
Long Fall Back to Earth, Jars of Clay; Tim Parker, Jars of Clay; Tim Parker; Kharyn Hill

Short Form Video of the Year
"Lose My Soul," TobyMac featuring Kirk Franklin and Mandisa; Danny Yourd; Danny Yourd and Steve Hoover
"Wait and See," Brandon Heath; Eric Welch; Tameron Hedge

Long Form Music Video of the Year
"Live Revelations," Third Day; Andy and Jon Erwin; Dan Atchison, Jonathan Erwin and Andrew Erwin

Hello Huricaine!

2009-12-02T22:53:00.001-06:00

In 2008 in the wake of hurricane Ike, Houston struggled to put the pieces back together again. As the Music Builds tour rolled across America they had lost their venue in Houston to hurricane Ike, so they renamed themselves the Music Re-builds tour... and Swithfoot was there. Through natures providence and Gods grace, Houston did not see another hurricane again...until Switchfoot was there.

On a rainy night fans lined the outside of the Wirehouse Live to catch Switchfoots Hello Hurricane tour that is literally taking the nation by storm. In a new approach Switchfoot is playing their new CD from start to finish in the CD track order, rounding out their show with fan favorites. It is a bold move to say the least but it also accentuates the flow of the CD that the band meticulously arranged. It also signifies the bands belief in their new songs, they know that you will love Hello Hurricane and are willing to prove it. The show works. The show flows. This is one of the best concert experiences of the year.

Even if you are not a “die-hard” Switchfoot fan you will enjoy this concert. The band uses a complete stage of showmanship mixed with their talent to capture and hold your interest and expectation. Judging from the “chatter” of those exiting the concert there were not disappointment mixed in the emotions of the evening.

As the band continues to take control of the forces of nature and ride their storm known as the Hurricane Tour allow yourself to get caught up in the whirlwind, if only for one night. The band is enjoying sold out shows across the country so don’t wait until the last minute to get your ticket.

When Heaven Meets Earth…

2009-09-23T13:46:00.002-05:00

Last week during my church’s worship service the words to the song How He Loves were transcribed and projected as, “When heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss” when the lyrics are written as, “When heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss.” It, at first, made me smile/blush~ then giggle. It reminds me of that blog post I did a while back about who is hearing what. It amplifies to me that we can all be hearing the same heavens song yet interpret differently the word, sometimes without altering the meaning of the message. I can only speculate that in that audience on that day someone needed a sloppy wet kiss from God… As for me, I think all of my future kisses are unforeseen!

**See Dan's comments...apparently it was written as sloppy wet kiss!

NeedToBreathe's The Outsiders

2009-09-22T08:39:00.005-05:00

We have all felt like the Outsider, either as the only Christian in a group of non-believers, or at a small group meeting having not studied the weekly lesion. Somewhere inside of each of us there is a rejected thread of life leading us to feel the sting of being an outsider.

"I've been wondering if we start sinking could we sand our ground? After everything we've learned we've finally come to terms…we are the outsiders" NeedToBreathe has done what to most would be impossible. They not only avoided the "sophomore slump" with their second CD, The Heat. They have came back with a third CD that will forever solidify them as one of the best bands recording CD's today, in any genre. If CCM were looking for new "darlings" to represent the Christian market in a secular arena NeedToBreathe would be their best bet. According to their fan site, The Breathers, NeedToBreathe will be the supporting band for Kings of Leon on a portion of their fall tour in addition to headlining their own tour. Very busy band for sure.

Every song on The Outsiders is a stand alone radio hit. There is not one that stands out or lags behind the rest, making it hard for a critic to single out highlights for a review. Lay `Em Down is the first radio offering that the band laid on the turn table. Opening with heavy drum/stomp track that reminds you of an 80's fist pumping arena rock song, Lay `Em Down "makes good on a promise" of a great CD.

If you think that you've heard These Hard Times before even though its your fist time hearing the CD, you are probably correct. The song is currently being used as the intro on NBC's fall show Mercy. If the secular market is confused as to whether these guys are truly a Christian band the words to These Hard Times, "Give me something sacred, something worth fighting for. Its clear enough to me the ugliness I see is evidence of who I need… give me the faith to believe in these hard times" should help clarify things.

For those in the Christian market who are confused as to whether these guys are truly a Christian band the words to Garden, "Let the songs I sing bring joy to you. Let the words I say profess my love, let the notes I chose be your favorite tune, Father let my heart be after you" should help to clarify things for them! Rarely, if ever, has there been a band that can write a CD of such diverse offerings that would honestly appeal to both Christian and secular music fans. I believe it is because this CD is full of GREAT music… no matter what genre you support you can appreciate that.

There are a couple of tracks on The Outsiders that I am looking forward to see if they translate well into a live show. One being Let Us Love, again for the arena-anthem- rock style of the song, the other is Stones Under Rushing Water, a slower love song. A couple of fun sing along songs round out the CD, each deserving a spotlight of their own.

This CD is simply "Something Beautiful." If you have the opportunity to play music at work, where not everyone scribes to CCM, The Outsiders is the CD you need to bring along. "I can't figure out just how much air I will need to breathe, when your wave crashes over me." Let NeedToBreathe' s The Outsiders crash over you and become an Outsider. It will soon become a favorite in your play list.

The "Story" behind "Jant"

2009-07-19T17:46:00.001-05:00

I recently sent someone the story behind why people call me Jant. He suggested I write a book. LOL It made me think...I wonder if all of my friends have heard the story...

Scene: Sophomore year: Georgia Southern College: 1987 (*Now Georgia Southern University): English Class: Front row student: Late to class.

The instructor is taking up the papers that we wrote. Mine was on the invention of a new and soon to be revolutionary HGTV! No one had heard of it, but me just coming off of two years studying film at Savannah College of Art and Design (SCAD), had been studying how this was going to change everything we've ever seen in TV transmitting. I was so proud of that paper I had told all my friends how much it rocked. I had told the girls in the dorm how wonderful it was. I had bragged in study hall, how they needed to read it when I was done so they could learn something...

Late for class I hastily folded the paper in half long ways as instructed and scribbled my name on the side of the paper and handed it in.

Two days later ( M-W-F class) The instructor hands back all of the papers except mine... He holds it up in the air with a HUGE red F on the side of it written in thick-poster-marker and asks who's paper it was.... I raised my hand with tear filled eyes and whimpered it was mine... He (very loudly I might add) exclaimed, "Well, I had no idea who "Jant" was... so...seeing as how you could not manage to spell your own name right on the outside of the paper...I held out no hope that ANYTHING inside the paper was spelled correctly either..."

I was able to turn in a re-write to receive one letter grade less than what I would have originally received... and I forever became known to all of my college friends as Jant.

True story...

Tell me I'm forgiven and loved...

2009-06-08T22:06:00.003-05:00

Jimmy Needham led worship at my church Sunday. He graduated from the same high school that Chance is attending. I didn't even know he was from Tomball! I've mentioned on twitter before how his lyrics to "Forgiven and Loved" struck me in a way, I'm sure he didn't intend. There is a line in that song that says, And my peace is almost past away. I have felt that since daddy died, my peace did pass away with him. I've had an incredibly hard time dealing with his death.

My pastor's series of sermons has been titled "Talking Donkeys" where we're exploring seemingly insignificant passages in the bible. This past Sunday we focused on 2 Kings 6. In a nut shell the sermon focused on how when the worker lost his ax head, he first had to admit that he needed help. There was a great illustration on how we lose our ax head and continue to strike the tree with just the handle, yet insist that there is nothing wrong, even though everyone around us can clearly see that there is.

The second key point is found in verse 6. Elisha asked the worker to show him exactly where the ax head was lost, "And the man of God said, Where fell it? and he shewed him the place." The lesson taught that when we lose something, we have to go back to the place where we first suffered the loss. That is where God is going to restore to us what is gone. It can be a physical place, or a place in our soul/heart/thinking.

Earlier in the week I was listening to the band The Listening. They have a EP called, The Rock&Roll Worship Circus is becoming The Listening. On that CD there is a song that's last line (is something like) "If you don't know where is you're going, you have to go back to where you started growing..."

So twice in one week I'm picking up on the theme of going back to where you started from if you've felt like your no longer growing or you have lost something.

Something I'll still ponder in the days ahead.

Dying social skills

2009-05-27T20:23:00.002-05:00

I was listening to KSBJ this morning while they were talking about the amount of texting that people do. I had the opportunity several years ago to attend a gathering with a vibrant online community. There were moments of awkward silence, referred to as the 60 second rule. (At the online community you have to wait 60 seconds between posts.) Even though there were strong friendships made prior to the actual meeting.

All of this got me thinking. Is the online social networking, killing social skills? Have we become so online driven that we are actually loosing face to face communication skills? (Have you ever used LOL or OMG in "Live" conversations?)

I have read other peoples blogs where they feel that blogs/journals are becoming a thing of the past due to the "What are you doing?" status update lines common to Twitter, or Facebook.

I do not have a solution to this. I merely see it as a trend in our social behavior. Any thoughts?

American Airlines (Why I will never fly with them again!)

2009-05-19T23:12:00.002-05:00

I should just re-post my letter of complaint against American Airlines but I think that maybe I should give them some time to respond before I do. I know, its not like me to be so nice when dealing with a complaint, however I think that just the fact that I'm never flying with them again may prompt you to at least research airfares with another company prior to selecting AA. I know I say never, yet given the amount of time that I spend in the air, and my dislike of the drive to Houston's Hobby, there is a remote chance that I will consider AA again in the future. BUT when that day comes, as it may, I will have this blog post to refresh my memory.

Check back soon, I may spill my story here after all...

Miss California

2009-05-12T18:50:00.004-05:00

I took a picture of Miss California.

This was taken at the Gospel Music Award show (The Doves.) She was there because of her Christian answer that she gave during the Miss USA pageant. Less than a month later TMZ posts topless pictures of her. Granted they were taken before she willingly, of her own accord, jumped into the spot light of fame but none the less not at a good time for her. I have read comments from people who think that TMZ has poor taste.

I think that the pictures themselves were in poor taste. I wonder, how they have helped her career? Why would anyone take nude/ simi-nude photos? If you are going to try and build your fame among the Christian community or use your morals as a high ground then you should live every day under the same standards.

If you have daughters, let them know that NOTHING GOOD WILL EVER COME OUT OF POSING NUDE! (For anyone, ever!) Never take a photo that you would not be embarrassed to show to your daddy, or have shown on the overhead in church.

Has she made a mistake? Yes. Should be forgiven? Yes. Should we all be praying for her? Yes. Should we be judging her? No. But should we be learning from her mistake? Yes.

If you are young enough for people to still want to see you nude, please, please, please DON'T GO DOWN THAT ROAD! NOTHING GOOD WILL EVER COME OUT OF IT! (It might get you in Maxium, or Playboy, or a commercial/movie... but at what cost? And do you really want to be famous that bad, or for that?)

Third Day on the third day finale

2009-05-03T16:49:00.004-05:00

As the last of the Third Day on the third day approaches I'm perplexed on what to write about them. I last saw them GMA week in Nashville at a fundraiser sponsored by Big Kenny from the country band Big and Rich. The band played near the end of the evening, after a list of country music's finest artist, yet Third Day garnered the best crowd response! I don't know if everyone was just tired of sitting on their butts and wanted to be dancing or not, but it took very little encouragement from Mac Powell to get them up & at it! That "benefit crowd" really let their hair down and cut a rug!

It was only one song, but I pray that it left a lasting impression on them. It is very fitting that this is the finale of the 3D on the D3 blogs as it was probably my last time seeing Third Day for a while. (Until the Fall? maybe?)

Roll on Third Day and I will keep rockin'!

Third Day on the third Day

2009-03-03T09:13:00.002-06:00

Yes I will once again gear up for a run of Third Day shows through Texas (its why I moved here right, right ;) ) In preparation for the shows I've been doing a bit of Third Day voting... Have you voted yet? First place to get your vote on is at the "Official" GMA web page by voting for Third Day as artist of the year!

Next up in your web tour with Third Day voters is to hit the Sophie Show and vote for Third Day to beat Depeche Mode (yes its a secular station and Third Day is in the top voting for their song Slow Down)

Join me next month when my shows are over and I'm getting ready for the whirlwind also known as GMA WEEK!!

Question for my fellow RN's

2009-02-23T11:48:00.000-06:00

Recently I had a patient come down for surgery who had dementia and diabetes. The family had phoned in the surgery consent but were now bedside for the procedure. The patient was adamant that they had brought a breakfast tray into her, she had eaten eggs & bacon but they took it away from her before she could finish. The nurse had documented that the patient was NPO since MN the night before.

Even though the patient suffered from dementia her second proclamation of anger over her tray being taken away prior to her finishing the meal prompted the anesthesiologist to have the RN on the floor called to verify the NPO status.

When I called up to the unit, it was shift change and the new RN said that’s what she had been given in report but the other RN was still in the locker room. I asked her if she could please verify with me the NPO status. When the primary RN was being questioned I could hear her in the background, “NO the patient didn’t get a tray taken away! We did catch her with a couple of cookies from her own private stash but it was only one or two!... Tell them they were sugar free, good God.”

The anesthesiologist was livid! He wanted to know if that RN understood what NPO stands for. (To all OR nurses who have had to endure the brunt of misplaced frustration I know you can relate.) The surgeon came in, and because the surgery was for placement of a catheter for dialysis, it was late, and the patient needed to be dialyzed today went to the family and told them that we had to do the surgery or she could die…however she could die because she ate.

Anesthesia decided to do a rapid sequence intubation and continue on with the surgery. (At this point it had been 6 hours since the “cookies”) The MD wanted to make sure that a report of some kind was followed up on to make sure that some teaching was done to the RN on the floor. I asked if he wanted her “formally” written up or a verbal to my supervisor to take care of things. He stated that a verbal would be OK. I made a copy of the documentation and gave it to my supervisor. The next day, the anesthesiologist, went to her as well to follow up- prompting her to mandate that I do a formal incident report for teach only purposes.

I wonder if non-operating room nurses know/understand why it is so important that a patient be NPO prior to surgery? One anesthesiologist was talking to another one at the surgery desk and made the comment, “You know I heard a nurse tell a patient one time that the reason they were to be NPO is so that they don’t throw up after surgery… The patient drank thinking that it would be so bad to throw that up afterwards…”

Any thoughts? Any suggestions on teaching tools? Maybe I should make something…

Daddy's tribute

2008-12-22T21:26:00.002-06:00

First of all let say that I am deeply honored that MercyMe allowed me to use their words when I was unable to reach inside to find my own. However, last night, around 3 AM God woke me up with this on my mind. I have to repent for not having a pen/paper around, so not all of it is here. This is only what I was able to capture after note pad opened up... This is what was read today at my daddy's funeral service. The honor guard was there for the 21 gun salute & played taps for him making it an altogether lovely service, fitting for a man who served his country, his family and his God with all he had until his last breath.

Daddy,

As you saw into heaven

and your praise began to rise

I felt so humbled and honored

to be at your side.

As God drew close to draw you near

You raised your hands in praise

As Hallelujah filled the air.

The legacy left by your good name

Is a blessing beyond all wealth or fame.

You knew how to love and live in His grace

You walked in His favor and His blessing

Always seeking His face.

In my heart you'll always be here

Your words will always resound in my ears

"I love you princess" you would say

And I've never doubted it- not even today

If you could come back

But for one brief hour

I know your words to me would be

"Hold on to Jesus, baby."

To say I'll miss you doesn't even reflect

The emotions I'm trying to keep in check

I'm SO HAPPY YOUR HOME!

Even though I am sad that you are gone.

I love you daddy, but I'll see you again

When its finally my turn to come home

And join you again.

Goodbye Daddy

2008-12-19T23:45:00.007-06:00

On Thursday daddy went on his journey to heaven. Sometimes His breath of life is our last. There were moments sitting at his bedside when daddy would begin to sing. Words muffled, melody fading in and out but never the less a beautiful song of praise as I believe he was seeing into heaven. The last distinguishable words he uttered was when he raised his hands and said Hallelujah! Glory to God.

I can not even begin to think of a more beautiful way to pass from this journey to the next than praising the God of Glory. I am so much like him, and one way is my love for singing (constantly lol) I pray that when my day comes, I too raise my hands in praise and glory and honor to the creator of this universe, the lover of my soul.

Good bye for now daddy. I hope your still singing when I get there! I know that you've always loved the things that I write, but right now I can't wrap my mind around a goodbye letter to you, so if you don't mind I'm going to let MercyMe say it for me.

Bring the Rain MercyMe/ Coming up To Breathe/2006
I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I’ve gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You

Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It’s never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you oh Lord
My only shelter from the storms
But instead I draw closer through these times

So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there’ll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that’s what it takes to praise You
Jesus Bring the Rain

I am Yours regardless of
The clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what’s a little rain

So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there’ll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that’s what it takes to praise You
Jesus Bring the Rain

I'm forever singing
Holy, Holy, Holy
Holy, Holy, Holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
Is the Lord God Almighty

Third Day on the third Day

2008-12-03T08:40:00.002-06:00

As I laid in bed this morning, not wanting to start the day just yet, I spent a couple of moments staring at my hands. Remember the funny little thing we used to do as kids where we locked our fingers together and said, "Here is the church, here is the steeple, open the doors and there's all the people."

For some strange reason that came to mind this cold morning as I tried to nestle in for a few moments of sleep. Using my hand to grasp the covers close I thought how cool it is that when we curl our hand all of our fingers are the same length. Yet when we stretch out our hands they are different lengths. So if we didn't smash our fingers together into the "church" but rather simply bowed down, we'd all be equal.

Christmas is here. Tragedies abound. Grace, Peace, Love, Hope and Joy abound too! I'm thankful that God can show us his glory and mercy today and everyday, in this season and in all of the seasons of our lives.

I will be packing up the computer this Saturday and won't be connected again for a little while. (Thank you Toshiba for not delivering my lap top in time to prevent the gap! *sarcasm duly noted?* ) Twitter will remain turned on to my phone, however I can not follow all of you in return. If I appear to be ignoring you... please forgive me!

Have yourself a merry Christmas!!

2008-12-01T20:41:00.002-06:00

Renee is the best surgical tech ever!!!

If anyone wants to hire her and pay her more-money-than-a-tech-should make, just call me and I'll hook you guys up.

OK Renee, happy?

This is my last week working at TOPS surgical in Houston. I will be sad to go. I am glad that I get to go home to visit with the family for most of December and the Christmas holiday season.

AMN/ Preferred has finally gotten all of my payroll issues worked out. I can now testify that they have made good on my pay. Its almost scary to change companies right now. What if I start over with a new company and I have to start over with the same problems.

From all of the message boards that I've been keeping up with, all of the travel companies have these same problems. Once you know how to cover yourself, understand all the guidelines, deadlines and rules then you are set.

At this point I'm not sure that they even want to keep me on! LOL. I guess I can be a little "wordy" at times. Although, when communicating face to face, I am respectful and polite. Who knows where everything stands at this point.

Daddy is in a hospice hospital now. I'm not sure when he is going to be transferred to the house. I know Mom is looking forward to having me home when he makes the transfer. This will be one of those times when my home health care experience is handy.

My Dawgs lost to Ga.Tech. Texas Tech is being shut out from the BCS National Championship game... The Jags are currently losing to the Houston Texans. EVERYTHING on the sports front pretty much sucks for me! I wonder if UGA is even gonna get a bowl game this year :-( *Sigh* OH well... next year is only a couple of weeks away ;-)

Some Updates on my travel assignment with AMN Healthcare

2008-11-12T22:03:00.003-06:00

If you are just joining my blog-o-thon regarding my wonderful new job as a travel nurse, please start here to read from the beginning to the current.

Now I have Craig helping Nick to work through my issues to get this resolved. On the phone, everyone sounds so nice, and appears as though they honestly want to help get this resolved.

However I got an email from Amy, after being told that my insurance forms with proof that they were faxed in the first 30days, were received and things were "taken care of." The email reads:

Hi Janet,

I have received your insurance enrollment form. However, at this time you are not able to enroll as you are past your eligibility period. All enrollment forms must be turned in within 30 days of your assignment start date and we are unable to accept late forms.

Please let me know if you have any questions!
Thanks!!

I want to scream!!

Moving on....

I turned in a time card that had the correct hours listed in the right column and they all matched the column at the bottom. However, when I entered them individually I had a number wrong. Yes they went with the one wrong number and not the other 3 correct ones. Now I have to go back and re-do my time card for this week. I corrected it and turn it in but I need my OR manager to refill out and sign the corrected form. She wasn't happy Monday when I had her re-do the form from week one that Craig said they never received. She sighed, reached into a drawer, and pulled out the already completed and turned in form.

Speaking of time cards. The facility that I'm working out is aghast that I have to go through and fill out the "call off" form each week, and then still not get paid correctly. They have agreed that I can stay by myself every evening just to watch the time pass to reach 8 hours everyday to avoid the hassle.

I have not discussed with them yet the fact that IF I don't get the full 80 hours, and I don't fill out the "call off" form...then I OWE THE COMPANY I WORK FOR $8 an hour for every hour short.

So, follow me here, if I work 30 hours and don't fill out the form properly, get my double signatures and then fax it off to a different number than the number that I fax my time cards too, I will owe $8 an hour for the additional 10 hours that I'm not getting paid for.

I'll let that sink in. Not only am I not getting paid... I'll owe money not to work.

I'm still in shock and disbelief that I negotiated days off into my contract. Prior to being hired, during the initial interview, at Nick's encouragement of full disclosure, I requested 3 days off in October. All were in agreement. Then I get this lovely email:

Thank you for traveling with Preferred Healthcare Staffing. In an effort to keep you informed of your paycheck status and funds, we want to inform you that there will be an unearned housing benefit deduction of $182.00 from your next paycheck. As disclosed in your Professional Services Agreement, the deduction for the unearned housing benefit is calculated based on the Minimum Hours in your contract: 80 hours required each pay period, with 22.75 missed hours deducted from your next paycheck.

This is for the "vacation" days everyone agreed upon prior to the start of the contract. But what did I honestly expect, full disclosure? That I could just take days off without getting paid and not owe somebody?

I think a portion of my whole "misunderstanding" is that prior to this job, I worked in a position that was salaried, with benefits. Part of my benefits were vacation days. I was allowed so many hours per pay cycle that I could save and use later. I had the understanding that I was not going to accrue those days anymore. But coming from a background of being salaried, I didn't expect "guaranteed work week" to be much different. Paid for 40 hours a week. Not, paid for 40 hours a week if I get a separate form faxed to a different number signed by me and my supervisor.

I'm going to request my travel assignment to verify for me if they are paying AMN Healthcare dba Preferred Healthcare Staffing for 40 hours of work a week. Or are they paying a different amount each week based on hours actually worked.

I'm just curious if THEY are getting guaranteed pay, paid correctly each pay cycle, regardless of MY actual work hours!!

AGAIN if you are a travel health care professional, either RN, ST, PT, or CRNA. I'd love to hear YOUR stories. Are all agencies the same? Have YOU gone through anything like this before? Any advice for future travel?

Third Day on the third day

2008-11-03T08:29:00.000-06:00

I have never finished my Texas trio Music Builds reviews... San Antonio is the only one left to go...

I've know for years that the last will be first and the first will be last but... Trying to beat the Houston show I knew was going to be a hard thing to accomplish. To make matters worse my seats were in Row M, going against the "If we ain't front row we don't go" Gomer motto. For Jars Of Clay, I knew the crowd weren't going to be in their seats yet so I did snag an empty front row seat for that. Chance and I left to go stand in the meet & greet line for Jars but did not make it to the front before the band was whisked away. We missed most of Robert Randolphs set in an effort to rehydrate before taking our place in the back of the front section for Switchfoot. Everything I've ever heard about the acoustics being better from the back, and the view of the entire stage & crowd response jargon was TOTALLY DISPROVED by these seats. My camera was dead, and I really didn't want pictures from back there anyway.

After the "Friends of the Foot" took off for their meet & greet I snagged a second row seat. One "legal" seat that was to belong to Tim, and 3 illegal-empty-seats that did have very young energetic kids. I will never understand why people come to a show (late at that) holding second row seats and then want to SIT DOWN for a show, but that is what happened~ half way through Third Day's set. (They also picked a slow song when everyone is praising to try and get to their seats... if anything else was moving on that song...they totally distracted it) I always wonder about the arms-crossed-sitting-people too. I wondered why they even came to the show. Then I decided to just praise anyway. They decided to remain seated.

After the show I got to meet some more Gomers who I had talked to, but never met face-to-face. Very lovely people! If it weren't for meeting them I'd probably list this as one of my least favorite Third Day shows.

I'm looking forward to the fall tour dates because NEEDTOBREATHE is our on tour with Third Day. My "Dream Line-Up" would be: DecembeRadio, NeedToBreathe, and Third Day.... ahhhhhh two out of three ain't bad!!

DAY TWO: HOUSTON TEXAS/ The Music Re-Builds Tour

2008-10-30T23:18:00.003-05:00

The original venue was the Cynthia Woods amphitheater. All of the MBT shows were set in outdoor arena type venues. Due to Hurricane IKE, there was a last minute venue change. There were a lot of last minute changes making this show one of the special evenings of the tour. First, instead of rising money for Habit for Humanity, ALL proceeds for this show went to rebuilding the Houston/Galveston area. This show was broadcast live on KSBJ and filmed for later TV viewing audience. RED had turned things down a bit. My seats for this show were front row, and since it was indoor arena the seats were closer to the stage than the ones for Dallas.

I was able to get some great photos of all of the bands for this night! This is a picture of Stephen Mason from Jars of Clay.

During the show Tai Anderson began to give his, bass-player-with-a-mic routine that he starts off with, “Earlier this year we had the chance to tour Iraq.” Only tonight it too was different. No sooner had he gotten the words out, he was given (what the band later has stated as) the longest standing ovation of the tour! It was very moving, to witness the gratitude of the crowd towards the men and women of the armed services, no matter what side of the election you are on.

This show had the largest amount of Gomers than any other on the entire tour. Gomers are THE main reason I attend so many Third Day shows each year. As a member of the Third Day “Wired” club, I got backstage passes for the meet & greet. As it turns out it was more about meeting up with fellow Gomers than spending time with the band members. Occasionally they would interject into our conversations, as if we would/could leave them out!

Again I ended up being one of the first to get to the venue, and one of the last to leave. (Hence the Gomer motto: Come early, stay late & WEAR ORANGE!) Of all three days of living-like-a-rock-star this was my favorite! Seeing old friends makes for time well spent! I got to sleep in my own bed this evening for another whopping 4 hours then…Off to San Antonio!!!

2008-10-25T20:23:00.001-05:00

Safe to Land by Jars of Clay~ Lyrics

2008-10-24T08:15:00.006-05:00

I have a tracker that compiles stats for me from this blog. The number one search engine request that directs people to this blog, after the two years or so that I've been up is: Safe to Land by Jars of Clay~ Lyrics

Let me say that I have interviewed Jars Of Clay. And I have written a review of their new EP CLOSER. However I am in no way affiliated with the band, their management, promotion team (even though I'd love to do that for a living!).

This is what I believe the lyrics to Safe to Land are (feel free to leave me a comment if you feel as though I have gotten any of them incorrect and I will edit) :

Getting tired from all this circling
Not much grace left on a broken wing
I feel the wind trying to push me down
It happens every time I get to town

I search for shelter near the mines we swept
I guess forgiveness hasn’t happened yet
There are no words that I can say to you
That turn this careless sky from black to blue
So I’m asking you is it safe? Is it safe to land?
‘Cuz I’m not going far on an empty heart
Is it safe? Is it safe to land? It’s the long fall back to earth is the hardest part

I’m in no weather for apologies
I need your runway lights to burn for me
And if you say that I can come around
I’ll love you right, yea I won’t let you down, I won’t let you down

‘Cuz I’m coming home, if these wheels touch down
I’m coming home I’m waking you up in the middle of the night I’m not giving up
I’m gonna stay ‘til we make it work
We’re not going down even if it gets worse
We’ll work it out. Yeah we’ll work it out.
I need light to guide me in
Oh, Yeah is it safe?

Music Builds Day one...

2008-10-15T08:17:00.003-05:00

All and all we’re just another brick in the wall…

The Music Builds Tour has rolled across America laying the foundation & building awareness for Habit for Humanity. I joined the “tour” with a handful of my favorite people, the Third Day Gomers for what we dubbed the “Texas Trio.”

They say everything’s bigger in Texas. Not sure if that’s entirely true, but having seen the MBT in Nashville in April I can yesly tell you that Texas was a rocking set of shows.

Late planes and Dallas traffic almost foiled the pre-show kick off party for us. But in true Gomer style we focused on what was the most important thing to us, each other. Yes there was this little thing called a concert but what was most important was that we were seeing each other for the first time in YEARS. For some it hadn’t been that long, for others it was a first “in person” meeting. (We live together online at www.Thirdday.com/boards) I love this community of people. There is nothing that we wouldn’t do for each other… *single tear drop*… OK in all seriousness, we always make fun when we get together.

For the concert? Oh yeah, the concert. My seats started off on row 2 stage left. RED was too loud. There is no other way to describe them. I like their music on CD. But live? My ears were literally hurting, and I had ear plugs in. WAY TOO LOUD RED. (and NO I’m NOT TOO OLD!) Jars of Clay is hit-or-miss with the audience response. Their stage show is very good. I love the all white outfits. It was strange to see how the crowd in one city sat with arms folded while the next city rocked…the set/delivery was exactly the same. One of those things that make you go, hummm. Switchfoot delivered a great show. Its always a crowd pleaser when Jon Forman jumps off the stage and runs through the crowd. Security nightmare I’m sure, but good theatrics. Due to the sound ordinances each band cut their show a little shorter so we didn’t get the same set each night. By the time Third Day took the stage, the “Friends of the Foot” had cleared out to go to their meet & greet with the band so I was able to get front row. Its always fun to have Third Day say something about their psycho fans (as Mac has so lovingly dubbed us). After a short but rocking set we all headed back stage for some face time with the guys. It was nice to see the wives there interacting with the fans as well. They’re always a treat. After the show back out to eat with the Gomers. Surprisingly not at Waffle House either! Then off to the hotel for the first night of 4 hours of sleep. God its great to live like a rock star!!!

Love done right

2008-10-15T08:09:00.003-05:00

Every once in a while you meet, "When love got it right." Not too often. Mostly you hear complaints of everything bad. Enough ammunition to keep me single. Maybe you just know someone too well and thats why you endure all the "dirt" and none of the praise in their relationship. Some of my friends never say anything good or bad about their spouse...makes ya wonder.

I got a chance recently to meet a good "love story" couple. You can follow her here.

Nice to meet you Stephanie!! :)

If the World could vote

2008-10-14T20:41:00.002-05:00

I got an email today with a world map asking the question, if the world could vote, who would the next President of the United States be.

You can click the link and check it out for yourself.

Don't forget to VOTE!!!

Jars of Clay MBT interview

2008-10-14T09:21:00.008-05:00

I originally submitted this to the site I write for as a new article, prior to the end of the Music Builds Tour. However it never made it to "print" so I edited it as a past tense version. Since they've never posted it, I'm going to.

This interview was recorded at Cypress Gardens Florida earlier in the Summer. Enjoy!

I heard Bono proclaim that, “I don’t believe that Rock-n-Roll can really change the world.” The Music Builds Tour rolled across America this year in hopes that Rock-n-Roll could really change one person, one place at a time. Hoping that if they can draw attention to cause of Habitat for Humanity, then maybe they can raise the level of awareness needed to make a difference in someone’s life. And that my friends would begin to change the world.

This tour featured 3 Redlight managed bands: Third Day, Switchfoot, and Robert Randolph and the Family band, along with the independent Jars of Clay and RED.

I recently sat down with Jars of Clay to discuss their involvement in the Music Builds Tour. What I found was not what I expected. Who knew that Jars of Clay were such funny guys? When asked, “How did you guys get involved with this tour?” Matt Odmark chimes in with, “Strategery.”

“We’re not even sure if we’re really on the tour” adds Stephen Mason. Laughter is the main recording of this whole interview.

When this tour was first announced, and the details began to become hot topics on the various message boards and forums for the bands, there was a cry of outrageous ticket prices, with a minimal amount donated back to Habitat for Humanity. Dan Haseltine from Jars of Clay offered a very eloquent rebuttal on the Jars of Clay message boards. “I suppose the point is not that $1 per ticket is the end of the giving opportunities for Habitat during the tour, it is just one of the ways Habitat will raise funds. A tour like this has layers, just as most do. The tour is very high profile, so that will give Habitat a bit of exposure. It is also just a great line-up.”

I read on your blog that your in the studio working on a new CD. Do you have a release date for that?

“We have an EP called CLOSER” Charlie Lowell
Closer to being done with the CD?

“Closer than a couple of months ago!” Charlie

“For the [CD] we’re probably looking at March of ’09. But the EP is going to have a few sneak peeks on it. You’ll also be able to digitally get the EP. So it will only be available on the tour or digitally online. So those not lucky enough to make it out to the Music Builds [Tour] you can still pick it up on iTunes or wherever you go[online].” Matt

By now Jars of Clay has pretty much toured America . Is there any city that you’re excited about playing again, or excited about going back to?

“ Chicago ” Stephen

“ Des Moines ” Matt

“We’re not in Des Moines ! Oklahoma City guys!” Charlie

Oklahoma City was on my list until the dates changed. Now I’m just doing the Texas Trio.

“Fair enough” Charlie

Being a recent Houston transplant, I was hoping that Texas would have been one of the “favorite” hot spots.

Stephen, the jester I’m assuming, quips, “Well we love our Texas . We love our Texas food. We love our Texas people. We love our Walker Texas Ranger.” (Laughter rolls again like thunder) “We didn’t realize how many warehouses with empty boxes there were in Texas!”

“That he can just run in and blow up” Charlie

“Ne'er-do-wellers living there.” Matt

“Shenanigans!” Charlie

More laughter rolls out of the tent holding the interview. The tour manager is now popping over to see what is going on in this interview. Sanity has been misplaced, replaced by sheer humor accompanied with laughter. Sensing a loss of control over the interview process, I asked one last question. “Have you ever sat in these interviews and wished that [the interviewer] would ask you a particular question and they never do? If so what would that question be?”

“No, I’m usually up for whatever you find interesting. Then I try to bend that toward what I’m interested in!” Stephen

“There’s the trick.” Matt

“The secret of the interviewee” Charlie

Matt adds, “I’ve sat in some interviews and wished someone would say, hey man you need $20?” (Roar of laughter)

So if you ever see Matt, ask him if he wants $20, or you can just donate it to Blood Water Mission on behalf of Jars of Clay.

Jars previewed some of their new music from the EP CLOSER with good crowd response. You can pick up the new EP online from JarsofClay.com , or from iTunes.

Preferred Healthcare Staffing/ American Mobil Nursing

2008-09-26T08:03:00.004-05:00

The sole intent of this blog post is that I pray it comes up to for anyone doing a google search for Travel Nursing, American Mobil Nursing or Preferred Healthcare Staffing.

For my very first travel nursing assignment, I chose Preferred Healthcare Staffing. I drove out to Houston Texas on September 4th to start my new assignment on September 8th with TOPS Surgical Hospital. I was interviewed over the phone by both Preferred Healthcare Staffing. and TOPS for a position as an 11-7 circulating RN in the operating room.

On my first day as I was being introduced to everyone, my OR manager said, "This is Janet, she will be doing the 12-8 shift." I didn't correct her but did come home, check my contract and called my recruiter, Nick. Nick assures me that he had no idea the hours were to be 12-8 but asked me to be flexible for now. I agreed. One hour either way wasn't that big of a deal, right?

As the first week progressed, IKE headed for Houston. I was the "last man standing" as it were, in the OR. I did the last case of the evening, I stayed later than the "staff" of the OR did, to secure the equipment used during my case. The rest of the equipment had already been taken care of. We faxed in my time card for the first week without the last shift's hours since we had to cover and unplug the fax machine prior to leaving for the day. The OR manager stated that it wouldn't matter because I was guaranteed my time anyway, right? It was for 19.5 hours.

The Monday and Tuesday after IKE the OR was damaged and we were told not to come to work. There was no power or water. The staff had a meeting and it was determined that they were going to be paid for the three days that the facility was closed. For the remainder of the week we were told to come in at 9:30 to re-sterilize the equipment, and clean up the OR. Lunch was provided because there was still no power. We were working on back up generator. We worked a grand total of 20hrs that week cleaning. On Thursday of that week I got my first pay check. And it was for 19.5 hours. NOT the 40hrs guaranteed that I was supposed to get.

Upon calling into payroll I was informed that this facility was not a guaranteed pay week facility. I protested. I have a contract. It says guaranteed hours! They agree. Yes it is guaranteed. We're sorry. "Since its so late today we'll wire you the money on Friday." Friday comes and goes and still no wire. I called back. "OH I see where it was to be wired. But since its so late today, we'll wire you the money on Monday." Monday comes and I get a wire for 8hrs of work. Wait. 8+19.5 does not equal 40!

Payroll explains that I'm confused about the wording of my contract. Forget that my recruiter, Nick, had told me on the phone, "Your guaranteed 40hours no matter how many you work." And my OR manager had said, "Your guaranteed 40hours no matter what, right?" Payroll says that I'm to be paid for 40hours IF the facility cancels me MORE than 24 hours in a pay week. Forget that the contract says "24 hours per assignment, which are cancelled by the Facility and cannot be made up during the pay cycle."

So basically, I've been hired to do a shift that only gets around 30-35 hours of work every week. The OR schedule is finished most days by 6pm. So I work 6-7hours a day. If I try to break the contract, I owe them $8hr for the rest of the contracted 13 weeks. (I have 10 weeks left or $3200) I've packed up, moved 900 miles from home, to work part time.

When I spoke with payroll last night the voice on the other end of the phone made the comment, "Its a common mis perception regarding the guaranteed work week." Indicating to me that out there somewhere is another RN who thought, was mislead to believe that she/he was getting paid for 40 hours a week on this new exciting career with American Mobil Nursing or Preferred Healthcare Staffing.

I would pay to have this blog post be in the top google searches if it saved someone else from American Mobil Nursing or Preferred Healthcare Staffing.

I'd love to hear from you if you too have been mislead by American Mobil Nursing or Preferred Healthcare Staffing.

9/11,12,13,14 Houston Texas- IKE

2008-09-16T08:05:00.004-05:00

Finishing up the last case of the day on 9/11 there was an uncertainty in the air of Houston, TX.

A waiting. An anticipation. An anxiety. People were unsure about future plans. To stay or evacuate. All eyes, all ears, all channels tuned to find the latest news, information... hope. What would the storm bring? What should we expect? What do we do now?

Then came IKE.

Friday found all who were uncertain before scrambling for plans now. To evacuate or not a mute point. It was clear IKE was here & it was too late to change coarse now.

I am one who was among the 3million urged to "shelter in place." Not close enough to run from the waves, told to hide from the wind.

I am a native Floridian. Not a stranger to hurricanes. I moved to Houston one week before. Just after tropical storm Fay brushed by Jacksonville. Blowing down trees, dumping rain. I worked through that storm. Home care never stops.

Here in Houston, I'm back working in the operating room where its a safer feeling for me. I've worked in an OR, for the most part, since 1992.

I packed up my son and piled in with my cousin Angie to 'hunker down' for the storm. While her home in Katy was technically further South, and therefore closer to the areas that would presumably be affected, it was a home and not an apartment building. There is no place like home. No feeling like being with loved ones.

Friday night was long. We stayed up. Eyes glued to the T.V. Where was IKE? What category? Where was the eye going to land? And where was Jim Cantore? [He's my favorite meteorologists but you never want to be in a storm & hear he's in your neighborhood, because that means the worst is headed to you!]

Katy didn't get the break from the passage of the 'eye.' It was non stop. We sat, napped, stared, twitterd & prayed through the whole storm.

Here's a log of some of my actual time storm tweets:
* getting the first of tropical force winds here in Katy 11:40 PM September 12, 2008
* @dannylondon is it raining in Seattle? 12:15 AM September 13, 2008
* @sunnieM getting some winds&rains but still a long way2go before the eye&the bad side hits us (should b in AM) 12:48 AM September 13, 2008
* praying for daylight.... 01:09 AM September 13, 2008
* power surging off&on again... 01:36 AM September 13, 2008
* power just went out.... I think I'm gonna try &get some sleep 03:10 AM September 13, 2008
* woke up this AM the winds haven't stopped..the 'eye' isn't going 2 cross us 2 give us a 'break' 06:21 AM September 13, 2008
* we're really taking a beating the house is holding up no tree damage to Angie's house or any ones car no flooding turning phone back off/love yall 06:27 AM September 13, 2008
* BTW we can't get calls in/out but we can get/send text msg (Aunt Alice/Angie&I are sleeping/praying in intervals little scared but were gonna be OK 06:39 AM September 13, 2008
* if u r watching flooding breaks in Addicks/Bear Creek/ Copper Field would be our "area" 06:41 AM September 13, 2008
* funny how at times like these songs float through your prayers... I will Praise You in THIS Storm!! 08:08 AM September 13, 2008
* getting tired from all this circling...not much grace left on a broken wing......(thanks JARS great song!) 09:04 AM September 13, 2008
* still raining here in Katy 02:46 PM September 13, 2008
* the forecaster was right today... windy & rainy here in Houston:) 03:17 PM September 13, 2008
* I know it seams a little trivial now but we have no power so all we have is local news on radio/IKE fatigue/would love some updates 4 UGA game 05:29 PM September 13, 2008
* @corrine_mamag yup! @marklee3d & @barihouse helped relieve some IKE fatigue! nothing on radio/tv but constant damage updates/nothing new 06:35 PM September 13, 2008
* @marklee3d that's cooler than the window ac unit we've gt hooked up 2 the generator 02:47 AM September 14, 2008
* I hate how I have no contact w/ outside world then my phone all-of-a-sudden acts like its having a seizure as I get a plethora of tweets at once! 02:53 AM September 14, 2008
* God your grace is enough 4Houston& 4me. I know that nothing but the will of God can come4 us who choose You&Your will4 our lives. 03:04 AM September 14, 2008
* So right now as an act of my will I choose2 praise You! In the storm/thru the storm/in spite of the storm because U R still God & U still reign! 03:07 AM September 14, 2008
* Its raining n Houston again BUT the anchor holds tho the ship is battered&the sails r torn,I have fallen on my knees as I face the raging c 03:28 AM September 14, 2008
* the anchor holds in spite of the storm! (Rich Mullens?) 03:30 AM September 14, 2008
* network still unavailable for wireless web...no power...now the waters out& its still raining...BUT God! 08:58 AM September 14, 2008
* God I praise you that gas is only $3.43 here 10:02 AM September 14, 2008
* I also thank you that Shipleys is OPEN!!! 10:22 AM September 14, 2008
* Shipleys didn't have kolaches :( but got my donuts! (its the little things in life...game scores...good memories w/ friends&sweets) 10:34 AM September 14, 2008
* I HAVE POWER!! and Cable...it truly is Comcastic...waiting to see if the net is up :) 03:14 PM September 14, 2008

Minimal damage to Angie's home. But she still doesn't have power. I'm back at my apartment now.

On the Third Day God created vegetation

2008-09-03T08:37:00.004-05:00

I wish I could sit and "veg" today. But tomorrow is moving day. I really hate that moving means I'm going to have to miss Third Day at Rock the Universe, and Third Day in Savannah, GA with all the girls, and Third Day in Ocala, and Third Day in Tampa...wait why am I going?

If you are a member of Third Day's fan club "WIRED" today begins the pre-sale. You can also sign up for meet&greet passes to most of the shows. Its a pretty sweet deal (if your into that sorta stuff)

I saw Third Day LIVE this past weekend at Wild Adventures in Valdosta GA. I have pictures up on my FACEBOOK account. I'm looking forward to the rest of the Music Builds Tour!

2008-08-24T20:31:00.001-05:00

Almost unbelievable!

Pop Corn téléphone portable micro-ondes
Uploaded by sassiere

Generation Kill

2008-08-16T21:10:00.002-05:00

Has anyone been following this show on HBO? I would love to hear from some service people. Tonights episode, Burning Dog, starts off with our military watching a village, identifying only women and children. Then blowing the village off the face of the planet. Please tell me this isn't a truthful depiction of what is really going on. If so, can anyone explain the logic?

Hey Jennifer & Jason thank you so much for installing my new closet. I won't keep repeating the same mistakes. ;) Thanks for your unconditional support of all of my harebrained ideas too. Your the greatest!! LOL

On the Third Day

2008-08-03T20:42:00.003-05:00

On the third day of every month. We Gomers blog about Third Day. Its the Gomer thing to do. This week was street week for Third Days new CD Revelation. There were secret shows, earthquakes and lots of twitters to celebrate the release. The hype is not over rated. This is one of Third Days best CD's to date. Even if they don't thank the fans, if some of the songs sound like wire...blah blah blah I've heard all the negative and guess what? Its still not enough negative to take away from the positive attributes of this CD. From start to finish, REVELATION ROCKS!

My favorite song is OTHERSIDE. Co-written by Mac Powell and Tai Anderson, it has the strongest punch of pure energy on the CD. With Robert Randolph playing the pedal guitar on the CD I'm hoping that he joins the the band on stage for the live version of the song too.

The Music Builds Tour is going to be the hottest ticket of the fall. I have already purchased tickets to 4 of the shows. I'd suggest that you do the same. Get them early because you will not want to sit in the back for this show!!

Alright, Lets ROCK IT!!

Is it safe to land?

2008-08-01T22:07:00.003-05:00

I have just written a review on the new Jars of Clay EP CLOSER (available on iTunes now). It tends to take a while for it to make it up to inReview but I wanted to share it with you. If your one of those who cant afford to buy another EP/CD right now, do yourself a favor and download the song Safe To Land (for $0.99). It could be one of the best Jars of Clay songs ever. Let me know what you think about it. (I wish that I was in love. And that he would write a song like that to me.)

Jars of Clay is at it again. In the studio working on a new CD. To whet the appetite of their fans they have released an EP of songs to iTunes called CLOSER. When I heard the first song released, the title track Closer, I was taken back by the lightheartedness of the song. Usually a Jars of Clay song is deep and multi layered. They can be considered a “deep thinking” mans band. Not that the casual listener won’t like their music, but without much thought you really don’t understand or grasp the full meaning of most of Jars of Clays material. So listening to the casual, almost silliness of Closer had me wondering if I was hearing a new Jars of Clay. The song has a catchy chorus even if the first lyrics are somewhat basic/ elementary. At first listen, I didn’t like it. But I held out criticism until I could hear the whole EP. I am glad I did. With every listen I like the single Closer more and more, however it was love at first listen to the song Safe To Land. WOW this is a powerful song. One that every person in love will wish that their mate would have written to them. I’m coming home if these wheels touch down/ I’m coming home/ I’m waking you up/ in the middle of the night/ I’m not giving up/ I’m gonna stay until we make it work/ We’re not going down even if it gets worse/ We’ll work it out/ I need your light/ guide me in/ is it safe?”

The band has reworked Love Song for A Savior and Flood (New Rain) in such a way that makes you want to listen to these songs again as if they were new. Rounding out the EP is Prisoner of Hope. Yet another classic thought provoking song that invokes true emotions in its listeners, “Let the wind run out of breath/ make you bleed from the heart/ and ache from the mind.... Fall into me/I’ll turn your ashes into flames...Prisoner of hope it won’t be long now/Prisoner of Hope you can be strong now/Prisoner I hope you carry on now/Prisoner your love can’t be held down”

If this EP is indicative of what lies in store for Jars of Clay I’m glad that they are back at it. I’m looking forward to hearing these songs live on the Music Builds Tour and anticipating the full release of their new CD due out in the Spring of ‘09 on their independent label Grey Matters. Jars of Clay has come home, and I think its safe for this EP to land. CLOSER is available on iTunes and will be available at their live shows.

Third Day rocks LA!

2008-07-29T16:15:00.003-05:00

Third Day heads to LA today to play on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. They are such an awesome band. I've always knew that Third Day rocks. Today even the ground shook! Yes I went there... Third Day rocked LA!

I love Revelation. As I opened the CD (I've had a copy of it since GMA week) to study the CD artwork. I like to read all the CD liners. You can find out interesting stuff there. As I read through I was touched by the thank you to Brad Avery. (I still feel as though there has been a terrible divorce and, as fans, we are the children caught in the middle.) What didn't touch me was the "thank you" from the band. "...We would also like to thank our families, friends, and home churches for giving us the encouragement and support to live out our dreams." Not one mention of a thanks to the fans.

I'm praying that the non mention of fans only means that it was an over sight and not an indication that Third Day no longer "Loves" its fans but rather merely needs us now!

All good things come to an end~ or so they say. (I wonder who 'they' are!) I refuse to believe that this is the end of the Gomers, or the Third Day love for their fans.

If you don't have a copy of REVELATION the new studio CD from Third Day, whats wrong with you?!?! The CD is good. I love it.

Thank You Third Day!

Revelation in 3 Days!

2008-07-25T20:18:00.002-05:00

One day I'm going to get organized. I'm going to stop procrastinating. My closet fell this past week. Maybe I'll start there. Its a new pay cycle so all of my charting has to be done by Sunday. Maybe I'll stop procrastinating after that.

I'm watching a comedian on TV who is so funny. I don't remember the last time I sat and laughed, alone. LOL. No seriously I'm laughing out loud at this guy. Daniel Tosh. One day he's going to be famous. I know because he just told me so.

Chance just came home. He even thinks this guy is funny. That's really saying something because Chance is the funnest person ever.

OH yeah Third Day's new CD Revelation releases in 3 DAYS! Get it, you'll love it. I promise :)

When the banks became cathedrals ...

2008-07-20T20:56:00.003-05:00

I was listening to Cold Play yesterday and this line stuck out at me. I know when they wrote it the analogy was probably inferring that we started worshiping money so therefore the "banks became cathedrals."

When I heard it yesterday my thought was, hum. How true that line is, but on a different level. Today as the banks are closing, they are no more than hollow empty places to be. Very similar to some of the Cathedrals, or houses of God of today. After all aren't we to be the house of God?

Some days I feel hollow. I think I eat too much on those days. LOL Why am I searching and what I searching for? I have God. I know where He is and where He fits in my life. Why isn't that enough? I think maybe, I'm searching for a different "him" haha. I've never done that before.

Here I sit at 10:23 on a Sunday night, with a whole week of charting that needs to be done, eating a double cheese burger from 5 Guys and Some Fries. Pouring my heart out to a blank computer page, with a mindless TV blaring in the background for noise to drown out the quiet. In stead of cuddling up with a book, resting my head listening to the heart beat of another. (That is assuming my charting was done)

2008-07-18T00:03:00.002-05:00

Another day at the beach with my mom. The waves were pounding today. I fell asleep listening to them. I awoke, turned, slept some more. I sit tonight feeling the repercussion of my actions. My only transgression seams to be that in my eyes. They are a lovely shade of purple with pink puffiness.

It seams as though I am defying all that I've held in truth. I'm finding a new and beautiful truth is abounding all around me. A peace within. Someone once told me in conversation that we are all "wounded healers." He spoke it with such ease and casualness that I wonder if he even realized the depth of what he was saying to me.

Wounded healers are often those who have been wounded in some way, and now try to help others through struggles. In my mind that is not at all what I am going through. At first I thought this remark was spoken at random, in random. I love randomness. It causes you to think, to have another thought process interjected into the course that you had already laid out, the response that you had predetermined that you were going to give.

Yet the more I pondered this seemingly random string of words placed together in my path, I wonder if they're random at all. I do believe that there are no accidents in life. Things happen for a reason in due season. But why did that phrase grab me.

My pain is not from a wound. The reflections of own soul are what is haunting me. I became complacent. I gave up a long time ago. It was as if I ceased to exist to become what was expected of me. I stopped all that I held dear because I was told that is/was not my "destiny" in life. I became a nurse at the advise of others, and it has not been an altogether bad thing. It has given me an income that has kept me self sufficient. Needing no one.

Doug told me once that the one thing he hated about me was that I pretended like nothing was wrong. I admit, I do take the Scarlet O'Hare approach to things, "I'll not think about that today." I always revert back to my 5 year rule. If this fight/ situation/ argument/ disagreement won't matter in 5 years, why let it matter now? Maybe I've gone there so much that I refuse to allow anything to matter to me. I don't know. But I want to find out. I'm searching, I'm looking, I'm open.

(PS no MP3 player at the beach... how impressive is that.. all this chatter and no musical background for inspiration?!? LOL)

2008-07-16T20:51:00.003-05:00

I am not obsessed with him... Seriously I'm not. But, OK maybe a little. But he is SOOOOO funny! (Or at least his writers are)

Thank you girls for my "concert" phone call!

BTW I am NOT talking about Chris ;)

2008-07-15T21:17:00.002-05:00

I sat with Jennifer in church Sunday night. She asked me to come sit with her. Jason was on cameras. It was nice to feel wanted. Jennifer writes left handed. I think it's so graceful and beautiful. My right handed penmanship is pretty. I hear it all the time, "Your handwriting is so beautiful."

I'm searching for my echo. To find that with which I can be satisfied 80% of the time. I know that I'd rather remain utterly lonely and alone than to settle for that which does not fit in with the inner music of my soul. In the past I've questioned my ability to love outside of myself, now I question the ability of a stranger to see through love what I am inside, and it want to enter into my circle.

Every door I ever tried was locked/ Oh I'm just waiting 'till the shine wears off.

I'm not sure at what point I could no longer contain my fascination with Jennifer's penmanship [which by-the-way for as graceful and beautiful as the movements are... its outcome is not!] On the back of the bulletin I scratched out, "I'm going to teach myself to write left handed, I'm bored writing right handed." To which there was only one appropriate response that fits my circle of perception and depth of reality... "Dork"

Hello, (Hello) Is there anybody in there?/Just nod if you can hear me...

God help me to find my community of belonging with those whom my soul loves and my heart understands.

No I don't want a battle from beginning to end/ I don't want to cycle love and cycle revenge/ I don't want to follow death and all of his friends.

Some days I struggle more with what lies inside, not the realities of the truth, but the need for simple proof...

2008-07-10T06:25:00.005-05:00

WOW sometimes my own twitters amaze me. I spent yesterday wandering around in my own brain, trying to figure out~ when did dying to myself mean I was to become someone else. Not a transformation from what I am to who He is, but from who I am to who I think they think I should be. Still "surrounded by people who don't think the way I do..."

There is a reality in my head that makes me not want to forget. But I'm forgetting half of the things I said and all of the reasons I said them. "This is who I am." I'm a thinker, a dreamer, a lover of many things not considered lovely by most. I'm the loner who doesn't always want to be alone. I don't want to sit and talk to you about Third Day, or the boards, or the tour... I want to talk about how Third Day has inspired you or me, how the boards have added another level of friendships to my (our) life, or how the tour has moved me/us to action to help create a better way of living for those less fortunate.

If your not one of my GOMERS I don't even want to discuss Third Day with you (outside of mentioning that Revelation ROCKS and you need to pre-order it), because you have no idea.

I want to talk to you about how beautiful the sky looks when God-kissed first thing in the morning, or the blushing of the evening sky as she gets ready to lay the day down. I want to feel the emotion in your eyes as you tell me about something you are passionate about. If you've spent any time with me, you know my passion for music. (Epically guitars~lol) Who are you? And why, after all of these years, do I have to ask you? Why don't I know you?

I've wondered if I'm so caught up in myself that I haven't been able to catch you. I'm seeking. I'm knocking. I'm open.

"I don't understand why we can't get close enough."

J

"I'm surrounded by people who don't think like I do"

2008-07-08T20:48:00.008-05:00

Church Sunday was interesting to say the least. I was told that my "chasing" after these bands was from a bad spirit even if they're Christian bands. (See my prior post on why we Gomers do what we do) That my desire to do the interviews, write the CD reviews, concert reviews ~ none of that is from God, and if I kept it up I would be in stubborn obstinance.

"Im looking to the sky to save me/Looking for a sign of life/Looking for something to help me burn out bright"

Sitting and staring for days. The one thing that I've had as an outlet to help me keep some sanity in all of this... The few bright moments spent with friends~ spent with my own feelings lately... none of that is from God? I've finally gotten to a real and honest level with my own skin but its not from Him.

I've had more phone and face to face conversations with "Houston, TX" and "Lutz, FL" than I've had with any member of my church this whole year. When asked, "How are you?" I've replied, "I'm still standing... I'm blogging all of it if you want to know the truth!" While laughing. No one has. They still look through me.

I'm the type who can't open up to people about my feelings very easily. I'm the one that makes you laugh. Come to me if you need to smile. If you need encouragement. (If you want me to promote something HAHHAHAHHHA... I'm your go-to-person for that.)

So do I go back inside me? Hold it all inside again so that it hurts to even smile? Be "fake" to fit in with the people who don't even think like I do? I wonder if some of the people at church were to actually go into their right brain what would they find.

I was told that if I wanted to see how much of a prayer covering was actually over Chance and myself, try leaving the church and I'd see. The sermons at my church are awesome. Its the only church I've gone to as a Christian. It has helped mold me into who I am. I've learned more there than I did in my whole life before there.

We'd live happily ever trapped/If you just save my life/Run and tell the angels/That everything is all right.... Im tired of trying

Philippians 1:7-11 NIV

j.

The DMV & Me

2008-07-04T05:45:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I went to the DMV. I transferred my "THRDAY" tag over to Chance's Bronco II that he is officially getting today. **Just for the record I am wayyyyy to young to have a 16 year old!!**
DMV Clerk, "Thursday?"
"No, (giggle) its actually Third Day. They're a Christian rock band."
"Ah, I wonder how they got their name? What did God do on the third day."
**Blank stare not sure if she was kidding**
"Um, he created vegetation." (laughing out loud now)
"Really? Thats funny"
"Oh wait, there was that whole raised-from-the-dead thing too"
"Ah So are we not supposed to eat meat?"
*Realizing she is serious and has no idea what I'm talking about*
"No, we can eat meat. On the third day Jesus was raised from the dead as our savior."
"Shows you how much I go to church right?"
"Well you should come to my church, you'd have a blast! I go to an Assembly of God... we know how to rock!"
"I don't know.. I was raised Catholic, you know the whole stand-sit-kneel thing. The first time I went to church here in the south I was like whoa~ your not supposed to talk in church."
**haha**"Well it'd be hard for me to keep silent!"
"Have a great holiday"
"You too, hope to see you Sunday."
*Smile*

I dated a guy that was Catholic once. I wonder what Jerry is up to these days. He took me to church with him. I don't remember the whole stand-sit-kneel thing. I do remember not understanding half of what was going on, and Jerry's smile that day while watching me. Funny how sometimes all you remember is a look or a touch. I honestly don't remember what he said to get me there or what he said afterward. But I remember the way he looked at me and smiled at that moment.

Let your smile speak for you today. It might be all they remember on day....

On the Third Day

2008-07-03T07:19:00.003-05:00

So the third day of each month I shall be blogging about Third Day. Why? Because its the Gomer thing to do. Since there are only 24 more days until Revelation is released why don't I just cut and past my review? I know. Because I've already done that on here... but not on the third day! So for the ease of TIMEs sake ;) I shall waste a day of blog space in repeat. Next month I shall hold my thoughts inside until such a TIME as this!!

Third Day – Revelation

For everyone who wondered if they had seen the beginning of the end for Third Day, the band answers back with its best CD to date. From the opening track they proclaim "This is Who I Am."

"I’m the son of a good man, I’m the child of an angel," read the lyrics. "I’m the brother of a wild one, and I’m looking for direction, I’m the lover a beauty, I’m father of blessings, I’m the singer of a love song, but is that all I’m good for? This is who I am!"

The tune "Slow Down" reminds you, in case you forgot, that this is a rock band. Lead singer Mac Powell begins the song with words that make his intentions plain: "Alright," he says, "lets rock it." American Idol alum Chris Daughtry offer back-up vocals on the track. At one point, Powell delivers a strong lyrical play on words, "I can’t seam to work it out, so help me God!" that leaves no doubt they plan on delivering a rock CD from start to finish.

There are no "skip to the next" tracks on this CD. Even in the slower songs where you see the depth of pain that they have endured over the last couple of months: "What I thought was the best for me turn to be all the worst I could find. If I run to you will you hold me in your arms forevermore?"

The song "Run to You" gives a glimpse into the heart and soul of this band. Decisions made over the last couple of months were not callous, but rather had these men on their knees crying out for direction, as is evident on the CD’s title track: "Tell me should I stay here or do I need to move? Give me revelation, I’ve got nothing without you."

The band raises existing standards for Christian pop rock on "Otherside." The song may not find itself in heavy rotation for the family-friendly radio stations, but delivers the strongest punch of energy on the album. "Let Me Love You" is a tender love song for anyone struggling to find shelter in God’s arms through a tough season: "Give up on the other things, my love can bring you more...Come on let me love you now, Come on let me hold you through the storms, I will keep you safe and warm."

Bringing it back to the southern rock roots of the band is the song"I’ll always be true," whose lyrics read: "Everyday that I live, every breath that I breathe yes it was all for you... When you need a shoulder to cry on I’m here every time and when you need a hand to hold I’ll give you mine. I’ll always be true!"

Guest singer Lacey Mosley, of Flyleaf, adds a perfect compliment to Mac on "Born Again": "I have a feeling in my soul, and I pray that I’m not wrong. That the life I have now, it is only the beginning. It feels like I’m born again, it feels like I’m living, for the very first time."

Mac’s vocals on "Give Love" are the smoothest that he has ever laid down on any track. He effortlessly delivers what may be his best ballad ever: "Listen very closely as I sing this song, and please believe that I mean every word. When I say I love you I mean it with all my heart, let it be the best thing that you’ve ever heard"

"Caught Up in Yourself" and "Ready" bring more rock flavor to the CD, while "Take it All" slows back down: "Now I’m ready to let go, to give it away. Take it all because I can’t take it any longer. With all I have I can’t make it on my own."

This CD will have you ready to rock, and ready to fall in love with Third Day all over again. The CD drops into stores on July 29. Pre orders began on May 2 WHY DON'T YOU ALREADY HAVE IT ORDERED???

2008-07-02T19:11:00.001-05:00

Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent. - Victor Hugo

I think he's funny...

2008-07-01T20:25:00.002-05:00

Probably the funniest Onion EVER!!!

when I climb down this mountain and get back to my life... I won't settle for ordinary things

2008-06-30T19:19:00.004-05:00

I was talking to a very sweet person this weekend. He is a member of a band that I love. At the risk of sounding like a fan-addict I confessed that I will be attending 7 shows this year. He appeared amazed and stated something along the line of... I hope we can keep it interesting for you. I couldn't help but smile. Lo after all these years they still don't get it do they? I wonder if any band outside of Third Day understands the Gomers. (And sometimes I wonder if Third Day really gets it) I do not fly out to Texas just to see Third Day, or Jars of Clay, or the Music Builds tour. (I did fly there one time to see NeedToBreathe but there were other circumstances built around that HAHA) I, like all the others I know, plan our show travels around who else is going to be at a particular show. We've made friends online but we get together and bond those ties without the "60 second rule." We come from all sorts of backgrounds and various religions, yet when we get together all that matters is the lyrics of the song Creed. We believe in God the Father... I don't care if they're Baptist and they don't mind if I'm Assembly of God. It's like that old blog post that I did a year or so ago. We are one body. And from a medical view, our body (made primarily of water... some in the form of blood) has many different functioning systems. We have a liver and kidneys that both work as filters for the blood. Yet neither of them have the same output. They go about the process differently. They use different triggering agents. They look different, act different yet produce the same effect. If either of them fail both of them will.

We travel to shows because its a glimpse here of what there is going to be like. We've fallen in love with the fellowship of people who love the same God. We've even broken off into sub groups and still travel together. (Jars, Toby, Crowder, DecembeRadio, NeedToBreathe... the list goes on)

And on a not-so-spiritual-but-still-real where the rubber meets the road level... We travel to the shows because we get to wake up in a different city every night. We know how to order the hash browns at Waffle House without studying the menu. We live like rock stars for a few days of the week before heading back to the mediocrity of life. We know we've been a part of something larger than us and we come back a little more changed each time. We thank you bands for giving us a common ground to travel too. But seriously, its not about you ;)

..many lost still seek to find themselves in me...they ask me to revel the very thoughts they would conceal...Love rescue me

2008-06-29T09:48:00.005-05:00

Some bands take the stage with theatrics. Some with grace and poise. Then there are bands like Jars that move about the stage in somewhat quirky, even awkward but purposeful movements. On a hot muggy, rain delayed night in central Florida the band did just that. There is a fluid in Jars music that rolls from the stage into very the blood and water that make up your existence. You feel Jars. You experience something larger than yourself, deeper than what you may want to explore in a crowd. Looking around I saw people who either didn’t want to, or were unable to, comprehend the flow of the music, the very spirit and essence of God showing up, making Himself known. I think as creatures we hide from God. Its our very nature to hide. We hide from ourselves. When Adam sinned in the garden he hid from God, he didn’t seek after God to seek His forgiveness. Jars reminds us that we are in fact hiding from a world that is dying, and we are slowly dying with it. I don’t know exactly when I stopped sleeping. When I starting sitting and staring into nothing. Trapped in this situation that wont go away. I don’t want it to completely go away. That would mean that Daddy was gone. And mom not far behind him. Is there anyone out there who is struggling with two parents in chemotherapy? Two strong Christians who honestly believe that nothing but the will of God can and will come in their lives. Yet mom calls me as I drive around town visiting patients that are too sick to be left alone, but are victims of the insurance business that says they’ve used up enough hospital time, “Janet, I need you to be strong for me now. Are you going to be OK? Because I really need you now. I can’t handle this (with Daddy) anymore. The doctors have said.....” “You’re a nurse so I know you know more than what your telling me, but can you please just help me thru this? I love you.” My patients have my cell number. I take their calls. They think I am the best nurse Baptist has. I know because they write letters. Letters that get read during staff meetings. All eyes on me. Yet no one sees. Sometimes, I really, truly, honestly wish I wasn’t so alone. That I had arms to fall into to cry. “Janet, I need you to be strong for me.” “Mamma, God has this, he has daddy. If, no when daddy goes, he’s just going to step from here to there. One home to another. We will see him again. One day is like a thousand so he probably won’t even have time to miss us!” She laughs....while I hold everything inside but the tear that slowly rolls down getting trapped in the rim of my sunglasses."I gotta go I'm in someones driveway and I need to go inside." "Thanks Jannie, I love you." "I love you too mom." She has made it through one more day with hope and encouragement from me. Thanks Jars for pouring out a little fluid last night to fill me back up.

Drifter

2008-06-26T17:47:00.002-05:00

"Sometimes I think about the past, the road that I was on, the road that lead me home..."

I love it when I hear just what I need to hear just when I need to hear it. Thank you God for gently calling me... and DecembeRadio for already putting lyric to note that which would make me smile today.

No flood waring...still the waters rise...

2008-06-25T18:17:00.003-05:00

The storm hits today.

I'm listening to Jars' Good Monsters (haven't we been here before?)

I'm watching the rain hit the lake. The wind is so strong it is appears as though there are white caps on the water.

It has taken a couple of days for it to get here but the storm has arrived. "There are storms coming that can't be prayed away."

Spent the day trying to drive with fluid vision. Wore sunglasses to the mandatory meeting to hide my eyes. No one even noticed.

2008-06-23T18:55:00.004-05:00

Can you hear that?

Listen... there it is again. I think I'll open the back sliding glass wall and listen to the sound of the rain falling on the lake and the wind in the trees.

There it is again. That sound. The sound of quiet. Walking into a empty house alone at the end of the day. The sound of nothing greeting me at the door.

No one to call. No one to feed. No clothes to wash. No showers to remind of. I've looked forward to Chance going to camp. But only one evening alone, and I realize I am alone.

I hear the rumble of thunder in the distance. A storm is coming my way.

I hear you calling my name
in the echoes of the wind.
I see your spirit in the
shadows now and then...

Call My Name~ Third Day's Revelation... in stores July 29th. In my CD player NOW!

2008-06-19T20:38:00.002-05:00

I got to spend the day at the beach today with my mom. I honestly don't think there is a sound in nature that sounds better than the waves crashing on the shore. I only wish that there were sunscreen strong enough to keep me from burning. Why do they call it sun kissed? I think its more like sun punched! But in a day or two it will fade. I'm glad the memory of mom and me at the beach (looking for sharks... because Jaws is out there!) will last as long as my memory, or this blog, exists! I sat and read back over some of the older stuff that I used to write. Some of it was pretty good. I read more back then, thats obvious.

Walking the line...

2008-06-18T18:19:00.002-05:00

I actually had a wonderful day at work today. I was still at home in my PJ's at 10:30. I saw my 6 patients, no complications and back home by 3:30. I missed church tonight. I have no idea why I don't like going on Wednesday nights. Its not that I don't think I need it. God you know I do. Speaking of God lol. Something hit me today. As I was driving across the Buckman bridge. (I know.. of all places to get lost in thought right, right?) I am still having problems with my mouth. So God has shown me that I'm walking so close to the edge with some of the things say. So that when I stumble, I'm so close that I fall over... and not a good "Other side" either. When I say things like, "That is so freaking awesome!" I'm so close. Even though what I say isn't "wrong." It opens a door in my subconscious thought patterns, that when anger hits me, and knocks me for a loop. Oops there I go again. I know I'm probably the only one, who at the level of teaching/training that I've had still stumbles over something like that, but I'm praying that God now that you've shown me this, I can make a change. So help me God...

this is my life...

2008-06-17T20:53:00.002-05:00

My twitter updates roll into my tumblr account which updates my facebook page. All I need now (is to breathe lol) is a pocket protector and I'd be set!

I have some potential interviews coming up in the future. I'll keep you posted. Right now I thing I'm actually going to go work out alone... as is much of my life! :(

2008-06-11T20:09:00.002-05:00

I got up this morning to go into work early. Was going to get caught up. Only to find a voice mail indicating that my AM IV was to be moved to 2 pm~ I didn't even know I was doing an IV. And it was peak and trough labs. Great. Even if I got there early to draw the trough and start the gentamycin at one, by the time it finished infusing it would be 2. The peak should be drawn at 4. Labs close at 4. I'd have to drive them downtown to BMC main. So I changed around my other patients. Rearranged my day. Wasn't going to get upset. I should be accustomed to being screwed by BHHC right right? I've only been doing this for 2 years. Why would today be any different? I guess I just hoped against hope that one day I'd wake up and love being a nurse. I'd love going to work. So I go into work to find out who my patient was and the info on where to go. I took my supplies out to my car. Put my keys down in the trunk and then shut it. Great. Perfect. Now not only was I behind, I was 2 patients over in productivity, AND my keys were locked in the trunk of the car... So I sat at a desk and tried to move from my Left brain to my Right brain. Didn't work. Well it did for a little while. I pray that my son doesn't have to take a career for money. It really sucks. Oh if we could run away maybe we could change... get back on our feet again...finally make it home again..

Here I am ... again

2008-06-09T07:32:00.003-05:00

Hi all. In case you haven't noticed I'm a contributing writer for inReview.net now. Don't worry I'm keeping my day job. Daddy has started back on his treatments and its so hard for me to see him weak. As an RN I want to do something, anything to help him but I can't. Not only am I not a chemo nurse (so my knowledge is limited)there really isn't a whole lot that can be done. I can pray and trust in my faith, believe what I know to be true and continue to praise. And when all else fails... cry. I will continue to lift my eyes... to the maker...of the mountains I can't climb... (God I thank you for the praises that you've given to others to share. Thank you that I can make them my own, and give them back to you!)

I NeedToBreathe!

2008-06-03T20:00:00.001-05:00

I am sure that by now the men of NeedToBreathe are getting a little tired of the cliches that naturally surround their name. But after a week of non stop GMA it was a breath of fresh air to meet up in the parking lot of Chick-Fil-a in Houston, TX to catch a KSBJ’s Brown Bag special concert and watch a true southern gritty rock and roll band perform. Did I mention that it was Christian rock? The NeedToBreathe message is not as in-your-face Christian as some acts, but it is a much welcome change on the music scene. Its nice to rock out to music that is as good, if not better than the secular scene yet still able to raise your hands in worship(or shake it like you know you want to do ). NeedToBreathe is one of the rare bands that you can see in a club or a church and the music, the message, and the meaning still translate, all glorifying the God of the Universe. Reminding us that we can be in the world and not of it, constant in any season. If you have friends that are not Christian, love to rock and your trying to “reach” them, I’d recommend that you buy them a copy of NeedToBreathe’s CD “The Heat” AND take them to see these guys play. You won’t be disappointed by either.

The band took the stage with an unrecorded intro to Shine that had the crowd on their feet and shaking it. They rounded out the evening with More Time, Streets of Gold, Sweet Talking, Daylight, Haley, Washed by the Water, You can’t always get What You Want (Rolling Stones Cover) and Signature of Devine.

The bands sophomore CD, The Heat, 2007 Atlantic Records, is a cross over CD that holds it own in the secular arena as well as the Christian scene. The band was nominated for Dove awards for the Rock/Contemporary Recorded Song of the Year and Rock/Contemporary Album of the Year. While the CD didn’t win with the voters it is a winner with the fans. The CD starts off with a simple question, can you Spare the Time? The drum intro to Restless kicks the CD off with a rocking start. There are very few CD’s that I can pop in and listen to the entire CD without skipping at least one of the tracks, but this CD is one of them. The latest radio single Washed By the Water is a moving story written by the bands lead singer Bear Reinhart about his fathers struggles as a pastor.

While much of this bands history is hard to uncover their future is wide open. Wide open is how I ended up playing much of this CD. Streets of Gold reminds us of what were struggling for, “it’s easy to say that there’s a reason for this, Much harder to know, That what we say is true” while Looks Like Love reminds us to enjoy the trip there, “Our hearts can only shake, When there’s risk that they could break”. I’d rate this CD a 10 out of 10. I’ve bought 3 copies to give away so far. I’d recommend that you buy at least one for yourself.

Janet Mattox
Resident Rocker JanetRN

Revelation

2008-05-21T21:22:00.001-05:00

Third Day – Revelation

For everyone who wondered if they had seen the beginning of the end for Third Day, the band answers back with its best CD to date. From the opening track they proclaim "This is Who I Am."

"I’m the son of a good man, I’m the child of an angel," read the lyrics. "I’m the brother of a wild one, and I’m looking for direction, I’m the lover a beauty, I’m father of blessings, I’m the singer of a love song, but is that all I’m good for? This is who I am!"

The tune "Slow Down" reminds you, in case you forgot, that this is a rock band. Lead singer Mac Powell begins the song with words that make his intentions plain: "Alright," he says, "lets rock it." American Idol alum Chris Daughtry offer back-up vocals on the track. At one point, Powell delivers a strong lyrical play on words, "I can’t seam to work it out, so help me God!" that leaves no doubt they plan on delivering a rock CD from start to finish.

There are no "skip to the next" tracks on this CD. Even in the slower songs where you see the depth of pain that they have endured over the last couple of months: "What I thought was the best for me turn to be all the worst I could find. If I run to you will you hold me in your arms forevermore?"

The song "Run to You" gives a glimpse into the heart and soul of this band. Decisions made over the last couple of months were not callous, but rather had these men on their knees crying out for direction, as is evident on the CD’s title track: "Tell me should I stay here or do I need to move? Give me revelation, I’ve got nothing without you."

The band raises existing standards for Christian pop rock on "Otherside." The song may not find itself in heavy rotation for the family-friendly radio stations, but delivers the strongest punch of energy on the album. "Let Me Love You" is a tender love song for anyone struggling to find shelter in God’s arms through a tough season: "Give up on the other things, my love can bring you more...Come on let me love you now, Come on let me hold you through the storms, I will keep you safe and warm."

Bringing it back to the southern rock roots of the band is the song"I’ll always be true," whose lyrics read: "Everyday that I live, every breath that I breathe yes it was all for you... When you need a shoulder to cry on I’m here every time and when you need a hand to hold I’ll give you mine. I’ll always be true!"

Guest singer Lacey Mosley, of Flyleaf, adds a perfect compliment to Mac on "Born Again": "I have a feeling in my soul, and I pray that I’m not wrong. That the life I have now, it is only the beginning. It feels like I’m born again, it feels like I’m living, for the very first time."

Mac’s vocals on "Give Love" are the smoothest that he has ever laid down on any track. He effortlessly delivers what may be his best ballad ever: "Listen very closely as I sing this song, and please believe that I mean every word. When I say I love you I mean it with all my heart, let it be the best thing that you’ve ever heard"

"Caught Up in Yourself" and "Ready" bring more rock flavor to the CD, while "Take it All" slows back down: "Now I’m ready to let go, to give it away. Take it all because I can’t take it any longer. With all I have I can’t make it on my own."

This CD will have you ready to rock, and ready to fall in love with Third Day all over again. The CD drops into stores on July 29. Pre orders began on May 2.

A highway with no one on it...

2008-03-10T21:43:00.002-05:00

God I want a relationship with you.

Not a one night one time experience. I want to know you for who you are. I want to know -"That way isn't right" because I know you well enough to know what you'd think about it. I want to know your thoughts towards me without having to continuously ask you.

Oh to be so hid that I'm found... in you.

Wouldn't it be lovely if the whole world or at least the whole church had knowing God in the forefront of their thoughts/desires/hopes/plans/dreams/aspirations/heart and soul...Sometimes it feels as if I'm on a highway with no one on it...A free way to a new way, with very little traffic.

All that is within me

2008-02-19T19:20:00.002-06:00

Sometimes life isn't all its cracked up to be. Its a dream that sometimes becomes a reality. And the reality brings things that we aren't prepared to handle. Life has a way of happening in unpredictable ways with unpredictable outcomes. Sometimes we think were OK when in reality we don't even know what lies inside.
All that is within me... sometimes I wonder what is truely left inside of me. What is my heart truly made of. What is it that drives me. What is my prime objective and motivation behind my own actions. I've heard it said that you know exactly why you do things. Sometimes I'm not so sure that I even know who I am- let alone know my motives.

2008-01-25T11:22:00.001-06:00

I am home from work again today. I got dressed to go in but they called and talked to me... and basically talked me out of going to work. With the exception of the breathing treatments I’m doing every 4 hours there is nothing I can’t do there that I’m not doing here right? (Well.. There is the napping...)

So they have told me that I have adult onset of Asthma. I still find that hard to believe and even harder to accept. I’m thinking that I have a bronchitis that I can’t kick. And I’m going to believe that God will heal me from this.

Mom’s second dose of her chemo didn’t go well. She had a reaction to the medications. Today (dose 3) dad is with her. I hate that I’m too sick to be around her. It feels as though when she needs me most I’m not there.

I’m reading the book of Isaiah. God I ask for your wisdom. Holy, holy,holy is the Lord of hosts; the whole earth is full of his glory.

Grace Can!

2008-01-13T07:37:00.000-06:00

Hey everyone... what’s up? How have you been? I recently got finished watching Rock of Love re-runs and feel all the more stupid-er for it. I got to catch the last 3 episodes and the reunion special. :rolleyes: And yup you guessed it... no remote control for the tv (why else would I have watched it?)

So I'm reading in John and the verse catches my attention 1:16 "grace for grace." It's been rolling around in there for a couple of days. I have received grace for grace! Glory to God! He gives me the grace I need for grace! So that "All that the Father giveth me shall come to me!" And that of all which he has given me I should lose nothing!(6:37 & 39)

I’m so thankful that in this hard time He is still drawing me. That He hasn’t left me to myself and my own ways. I’ve had some problems with Chance lately. But God says that all he has given me... I should lose nothing!!! He also says that I can have my seed and my seeds seed so there is more to come! I’m thankful that others are there for me so that we can pull him thru this. My bestest friend assures me that he’s not the first teenager and I’m not the first single mom dealing with it! Hallelujah!!

Mom has started a new type of chemo. Her first dose went pretty smooth so maybe next time she won’t have to stay so long for the treatment. Now if daddy would just take care of himself! LOL.
It’s not a small world anymore. And I have a big year ahead. But I’m not viewing it as a “New” beginning with a clean slate like I heard others say. I’m tired of going around the same mountain over and over again. I’m moving along and pressing ahead and getting involved with what God gives. In spite of me and what I see it’s all because of calvary that GRACE CAN!

Blog update...

2007-11-29T19:29:00.000-06:00

My brother, sister in law and I completely did the Thanksgiving dinner at mom & dads. She hasn’t been able to eat anything so she’s wasting away a little. (Lost about 15 lbs in 2 weeks) The rest of her hair fell out from everywhere so we were glad that she had already shaved it short and gotten a wig. She has had tattooed make-up for years so its not that noticeable that her eyebrows/lashes are gone. She was actually able to eat some that day and it made her feel better that she didn’t have to do anything. She’s a little weak. I’ve been “finding” things for her to do for me because she’s feeling useless d/t her weakness.

I put up her Christmas tree and Jeff Jr and I decorated it on thanksgiving day while she watched. It was overall a very good day.

There was an evangelist that works for the Daystar TV network that came and our pastor let him preach a service. At the end he said that he doesn’t usually pray for people but he felt lead to pray for some people in our congregation. ( I was operating a camera that day) He said that he had such a strong feeling that someone had an issue w/ their back and back pain that needed prayer. I RAN up front to have him pray for me. (This was two weeks ago) And I HAVE NOT HAD ANY BACK PAIN since then!! I know that God healed me that morning!! Its not good news to the lawyer who is handling my suit against the other driver but at this point I don’t care. I’ll take pain free over money ANYDAY!!

The Glory of it all

2007-10-07T13:42:00.001-05:00

***Originally posted Thursday***

My mom had an appointment with the MD today. He called her in to let her know that they needed to go back in and do more surgery (tomorrow). They have determined that she has a fast growing type of cancer and the margins were too close. So they will be going back to remove more.

“At the start
He was there
In the end
He’ll be there

Oh, the glory of it all
Is He came here
For the rescue of us all
That we may live
For the glory of it all
Oh, the glory of it all"

2007-10-01T19:13:00.000-05:00

It has been a day of emotions. Mom went in for the needle localization prior to surgery (to identify for the surgeon the exact location of the tumor). While in the x-ray department the radiologist told her that the tumor was on the chest wall and that a complete mastectomy was necessary. (This was against her surgeon’s advice... this is the same surgeon that did my dad surgery. As an ex O.R. nurse I’m very particular who does the surgery.)

Once she gets over to the OR suite she is very emotional, and has signed consents for the total procedure at this time. The surgeon comes out to the waiting room and gets me and my friend Stacey (also an ex OR nurse). After calming her down we get her to agree with the surgeon and change the procedure to the simple mastectomy (also known as a lumpectomy) with fresh frozen sections to determine margins. The surgeon came out after the procedure and told us that he got clear margins with negative nodes. He is setting her up tomorrow for mammosite treatments.

I helped take her home. Got her comfortable and left her to get some sleep. While calling to check up on her this evening, my dad states that she has a rash now all over her body. I told him to call the surgeon. He had already done that without any response yet. I told him to give her benadryl for now and to hold her abx. She already has an appointment for in the AM. I told him to watch her respiratory rate and go to the ER if she becomes short of breath. I wonder what people who don’t have nurses or MD’s around do when something like this arises?

So all is quiet now. I’m completely exhausted, and I wonder if I am free to cry now? Its times like this that I realize that friends are great, but I really need someone in my life to be a rock, and source of strength when I can’t be any longer.

‘Twas Grace that taught my heart...

2007-09-19T20:06:00.000-05:00

For months now we’ve been battling cancer with my dad. We’ve seen the light at the end of the tunnel. The last PET scan was normal. No activity. Still doing chemo for the next 3 months then re-scan.

Everyone’s finally felt the pressure lift a little.

Yesterday mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. More tests on Thursday. (A biopsy to be done next week) The MD did tell her that from the films it looks like it is in the axillary nodes already but would know more once he does the node biopsy. We’re all just a little weary from the battle. But know we know how to fight better.

2007-09-10T22:39:00.000-05:00

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2007-09-03T21:16:00.000-05:00

Joshua 24: 26-27 Amplified 26 And Joshua wrote these words in the Book of the Law of God; and he took a great stone and set it up there under an oak that was in [the court of] the sanctuary of the Lord. 27 And Joshua said to all the people, See, this stone shall be a witness against us, for it has heard all the words the Lord spoke to us; so it shall be a witness against you, lest [afterward] you lie (pretend) and deny your God.

So if I go through my house and call my walls salvation and my windows and doors a praise to God then they too can be a witness FOR me!! They can be a testimony of praise! As the watchers are writting my account they can see! I AM A PRAISE TO THE MOST HIGH GOD!!! I have a witness in the earth. Glory to GOD!

Teshuva

2007-08-23T20:57:00.000-05:00

Ever notice how if you decide to lay down, life will float right by but its when you decide to stand that the wind hits you harder? I saw a tree being blown by the wind today while the smaller lower lying bushes weren’t fazed.
Matthew 5:17 says, "Do not think that I have come to do away with or undo the Law or the Prophets; I have come not to do away with or undo but to complete and fulfill them."
I’ve always read over this because I’ve thought that the old law is now passed away. Until today. Driving down the road, obeying the law of the speed limit. I hear this thought in my head. So does the speed limit no longer exits? Just because its being fulfilled do I now no longer have to obey it? I know the veil has been torn and now I too can go into the holiest of the holy’s and with boldness go before the throne. But does that mean I can be brassy & bold, arrogant & assuming that my petition will be heard?
Can I assume that Jesus’ whole ministry coincided with the Jewish feasts, and after his death the apostles also remained faithful with the Jewish laws of the feast. I am not a Jew, however I have been adopted into the family through the blood & sacrifice and mercy of Jesus & the most high God. I today’s society adoptions, and split families are common place. I don’t recall ever seeing or hearing of a baby being adopted into a family & the family raising the child with the religious practices of the birth family. No, the child adopts the customs and lifestyle of the new family.
I am coming before you now Lord with a heart of repentance during this period of Teshuva. I’ll not allow myself to be self deceived. I’ll not let strife remove me from Your will for my life. Isaiah 55:7 Let the wicked forsake his way and unrighteous man his thoughts; and let him return to the Lord, and He will have love, pity, and mercy for him, and to our God, for He will multiply to him His abundant pardon.

~We are Family~

2007-08-20T20:18:00.000-05:00

My mom is one of 12 kids. And they all live here in Jacksonville. All but 2 of the 12 had at least 3 children, some had 4. Now all of those children have had at least 1 child, some 3. (Stay with me on this). Now all of those children are growing up and beginning lives of their own. Tonight we had a wedding shower for my cousins son Derek (Raymond Derek actually). He is 20, hard to believe. Since it was a "women's" thing and all of the men weren't there we didn't need to rent out a space to have the party. The 'original 12' get together a 2-3 times per year with the whole bunch getting together at least once yearly. At times I dislike having so many people in my business lol. But times like tonight I so love that I belong to them! I wouldn't trade my huge extended family for anything. We grew up close, and we're still close. I know my cousins best friends and they don't understand me and mine HAHA (LOVE YA GOMERS!) But what would life be without them?
One of my aunts died a couple of years ago and her husband remarried. Tonight they were discussing how his new wife is in the hospital so they were planning trips up to visit with her. I thought wow. Charles was married to my aunt and even death can't take him out of the family. (I hope he doesn't mind us holding on to him LOL!)
I bet when we all get to heaven (what a day of rejoicing that will be...when we all see Jesus..) We're going to be the same way. One big extended family. Rejoicing around the throne. Some days I long for heaven more than others. (Everybody wants to go to heaven ... but nobody wants to die.... lol. ) Today is one of those days. Be blessed, and rejoice, rejoice and sing with the angel voice's!

~The Famous Ones~

2007-08-14T07:18:00.001-05:00

I’ve recently read two gushing fan posts on two separate message boards for Christian music artist where the fans have gotten the opportunity to meet the band/artist. It made me think.
What if we went to a new church. And once we were there, we met someone who went to our "home" church. We weren’t exactly friends but they seemed nice enough. They offered pleasant conversation, compliments on our family and appeared interested in really getting to know us. Later that evening we attend church again only to find that every word we had spoken to that "friend" was typed out in the bulletin!
What if our spouse wasn’t with us that morning. But they were present at the evening service, and they got to read everything that we had said. How would we feel? Wouldn’t we feel just a little violated/ betrayed?
I challenge fans to look deep inside and see what it is we’re chasing after. Who is the famous one in our lives?

~You make all things glorious..and I am yours! What does that make me?~

2007-08-13T12:47:00.000-05:00

Ahhh My Remedy is coming! I can hardly wait until its release date September 25th. Today I have an appointment with my orthopeadic surgeon for the result of the MRI. During the nerve conduction study he mentioned nerve block... I'm not big on surgery of any kind.
Sunday morning I was on the front camera (the one that has to move back at the end of praise service). I could hardly bend down to pick up my cords before moving. I was in so much pain that I came home and took some pain meds, fell asleep and missed evening service. I wonder how God can be faithful to me if I can't be faithful to Him. But I know He is. I know that this King's daughter is all glorious within! And I surely will continue to seek out others who's garments are all fragrant with myrrh, aloes, and cassia, and I will be made glad!! (Psalms 45)

Ahhh my Remedy is surely coming! Thank you Lord of heaven and earth!

~Fudge Rounds!!~

2007-07-28T20:54:00.001-05:00

I had an absolutely beautiful day on the lake today. The praise/media teams went to the lake house of our worship leader on Lake Winnott.

A whole day of laughter and praising God without one note, one song, one lyric...yet still God was there. You could feel Him in the breeze~see Him in the clouds~hear Him in the thunder of laughter that echoed across the lake and back again.

We talked about concerts. We talked about the frequency of worship and who was doing what...and what we were going to do. We talked about things to come and days gone by and opened up our intimate lives to really get to know each other past the 1st and 2ND layers. We talked about the drawing of/ calling of God, and how He changed us from _____ but more important is that we love what He has changed us to. And thank God Almighty He hasn't left us to ourselves now. But He's still showing us things about ourselves that need work.

So everything about me today was utterly saturated in God's love & His blessings & His gifts through deep spirited friendships that have roots that went down even deeper today...so tomorrow I'm looking for the new growth. The new buds on the tree~ the new fragrance of worship as new life, growth spring forth from the rain/watering/saturation of our souls today!

Thank you Bill and Stacey for allowing the blessings of overflow to saturate all those who know you!!

~Mountain of God~

2007-07-26T23:58:00.001-05:00

...after all that I've been through...now I realize the truth...that I must go through THIS valley to stand upon YOUR mountain O' God!...

I got the opportunity to see Third Day in concert this past weekend. I did not realize how much I've missed my friends and how bad I've needed them. Just being around those who have the same passions that I do (and the same...dreams/visions ;) )was so much fun. I haven't cut up and acted silly for quite some time. Even though I know that the joy of the Lord is my strength.

It's not that I've been unhappy, but I haven't been able to let go of all of the "chemo questions" and "wreck details" and just think about the future ( THE TEXAS STATE FAIR!!!) and the mountain tops that I know are surely coming.

I believe that this past weekend I was able to stand on a distant mountain of God and see over to the next mountain tops...and there are great things ahead! Here and in Zion!

Thank you a million times over Third Day and especially my fellow Gomers!! I really needed to see that vision...

Who is He hearing?

2007-07-22T12:00:00.001-05:00

As Hagar lay in the desert, she put her son (who was around 15 by that time) away from her because she didn't want to watch him die...

God heard the lads cry and spoke to her! WOW! So God heard the cries of the teen and spoke to his mom. Makes me wonder if we should re-think the purpose & power & calling of the teenage generation and their role in the church today!.. For years we've been doing this and its just not working. We're not making strides by leaps and bounds to advance the kingdom of God...so maybe, just maybe we need to change our attitudes and thought life re: our youth....

Maybe...

~God only knows why.~

2007-07-15T21:14:00.000-05:00

In the beginning God spoke and it was. Everything was created at his words. Then He created us. And we've spent history (his story) altering His words. Twisting them. Changing them to better fit what it is that we are feeling/seeing/ wanting to express. Until now we say, God only knows...Subconsciously and without a conscious thought we've limited God to "only." Instead of saying, God you know my heart better than I do. You know the motives that I hide even from myself. You do know the reasons why. We really don't give you enough credit or control in our lives. There is still so much that we "work out" on our own, as if our brains were able to process the beginning from the end. Still we "hold on" rather than trust and stand. We're "making it" rather than trust and stand. We twist your words rather than trust in and stand on your word. It's already written, but that was then and this is now, so instead of trust and stand, we tend to demand, plead, beg. God please ... fix this, do that, move on our behalf... instead of trust in and stand on.

Bad? or Good Monsters?

2007-07-15T06:23:00.000-05:00

Yesterday my son gets his paycheck and immediately requests me to take him to Family Christian Book story to purchase a plethora of Cd's (4 to be exact...wanted more but mom made him stop at just 4..."they're not going anywhere, they'll be here next week when you get another check. Please don't spend everything today"..)

We get in the car and the first thing we hear is Turkish Delight from the Chronicles of Narnia soundtrack. I love DC*B. No more from that CD it was off to the next one. Reliant K then got to waste a little more than 10 seconds of my life! LOL If you haven't heard the CD then you might not understand. It really wasn't wasted but that really is a song...really... Toby's Portable Sounds rounded out the session. It was "BOOMIN"! out the stereo system for sure. Then Chance put in Good Monsters by Jars of Clay. After the first song he takes it out. And back to Turkish Delight it was for the remainder of the evening.

Later while I'm sitting charting my 29 charts for the week, I put Good Monsters back in. And the whole CD is good but especially the last 6 songs. I found myself staring at the laptop thinking WOW. Feeling WOW.

I've been praying now for at least a week straight, "God I want to quiet the drama that I usually create in my life! I don't want you to constantly have to speak to my storm but rather speak to me! It's in the quiet that I hear you whisper in my ear, and in the stillness of the night that your having to guide my life!... I want that to change. I want to live so still in You God that your free to speak to me in all and everything." Yet here I sit. Saturday night. Deadline at work. With 29 charts to get through.... Jesus stepped out on the water that night and would have passed them by ... Oh My God ~don't let it be so with me! I strongly suggest that if there are storms blowing you around right now that you get QUITE...BE STILL before God. IF you need outside help to calm your thoughts, pick up Good Monsters and just sit and watch the songs unfold. Hope won't hide the loss.....BUT GOD!

I wanna live like there's no tomorrow...

2007-07-05T12:38:00.000-05:00

My Mom calls. Janet will you please make me some more of that salsa? You know how much we love it and the last batch is gone. My boss calls. Janet we need the MD order strings entered in the computer so we can staff out these patients for you...

And I drive down the road singing... I wanna live like there's no tomorrow. And I honestly feel that way. Yet there are so many things pending in my life. I wonder why my words aren't matching my life.

Today I'm going to go get my mom & take her to Publix (where shopping is a pleasure LOL) and show her all the stuff to buy, then go home & show her how to make my salsa.

I'm going to hug my father & tell him how much I love him & how he has been the only stabilizing thing in my life for the past 40 years. And tell him how scared I am that this sickness is unto heath & that I've felt that from the beginning & that's why I've been distant lately. That's why I've been staying to myself. I'm so afraid to say anything to anybody because I don't want my heart know.

I'm going to tell my son that since the age of 25 I've known what unconditional love feels like. Now I can finally relate to God in a deeper way. I'm so sorry that he had to be born into the situation that was the mess of my life. BUT GOD!! He doesn't have to stay where I bore him he has a highway and I have a vision. He'll not have to go through what I did because my parents didn't know any better & lived half in this world and half in the church. We've all changed. We've all met God. AND GOD will take him farther than me and my vision. That C.N.B.Seen Productions will to come to pass for him if its Gods will. I'll not call silly the visions that he has.

I will let go so that if there is no tomorrow for me I'll not leave behind a mess for someone else to clean up.

Thank you again Chris Tomlin for inspiring me to see God.

2007-07-04T17:22:00.000-05:00

My pastor said Wednesday night that God's not up in heaven with his arms holding back an outpouring. Yet we cry~God I/we want to the outpouring of your Spirit!... We want to see Your Glory manifested here on this earth. And the whole time~the Holy Ghost is present among us. Everything Jesus did that day was given to us. The power of heaven is at our words... But we don't know how to tap into it. And were so full of ourselves and not Him, that there is no room for Him to flow through us. He is not going to fight through the storms of our life~ the drama around us (that we usually create) to get to a calm that He is able to speak to us through. Jesus was asleep during the storm that night & when they work him all he did was speak QUITE...BE STILL!... Do you still have no faith?

There was an awesome faith that Jesus used to raise his own dead body from the grave because it was already written/spoken over Him!! I want that kind of supernatural faith active in my life! That I can speak the power of life into someone else's life!

~No ... I just need a book!~

2007-06-15T20:46:00.000-05:00

So my sister in law is enjoying the joys of potty training. She told me that the other day Jr was in the bathroom and he started yelling... Mama!...Mama! Just a minute Jr I’m on my way. Upon entering the bathroom doorway, Jr holds up his two hands in the universal "stop" motion and states. I’m not done, I just need a book!
So I’m driving down the road today and start giggling thinking about his story. And I can’t help but think, yup sometimes I really don’t need help, I just need a book. So instead of calling out to others for help I think I need to spend more time this up coming days and weeks reading His story. Have a blessed day!

~Just passing through~

2007-06-11T20:31:00.000-05:00

I received my autographed copy of this book in the mail today. How exciting. When I opened the front cover to begin reading I was struck by the comment... To my dad... I hope people see some of you in me...
For most of this year I’ve been consumed with the desire for people to see more of my heavenly father in me!! Now that they’ve given my earthy father very little hope of recovery I too want people to see a little of him in me. It brought home the fact that we are not alone in our walks, and our situations are not unique to us. What makes us unique is how we take the adversity, or the joy and apply it to our lives. Its how we choose to walk it out. What we choose to show a reflection of is what we hold dearest. The ones we think are cool we immolate. The styles we see on others that we love we adopt. I want to find God cool! LOL I want copy His style and mannerisms. I want to see a reflection of Him in my mirror, and feel him in my marrow. I want to breathe the breath that He has, and flow in grace and mercy with the favor of the Lord!
Thank you Jason for the book. May God bless you in all that you do!

~Its by what authority?~

2007-06-07T05:30:00.001-05:00

Last night in church we were continuing our study on the gifts of the spirit... The associate pastor was using scripture from Deuteronomy 18:22. He reads through the scripture and like most of my blogs it hits me... So Janet, what authority did use to question those that you have no spiritual authority in their lives? (It was like my drill sargent screaming in my face lol) I really believe that in this battle of life we are truly in "Gods Army"...(Be all that you can be... fight the good fight...submit yourself under the authority...) And in the army there are ranks. You have your place in line, and you don’t break rank.
I had a cute cat once named Spencer. Spence was a humane society rescue, and he was 100% completely crazy. He would wait until you were in bed, run down the hallway so fast that his paw steps sounded like thunder coming, jump up in the bed, bite your big toe and then run off again. If you tried to stop his nightly routine he would wait until you were asleep. So it was without much hesitation that I let that "curious cat" dart for the door every time it was open to view the outside world. He was declawed and defenseless out there but he didn’t care. After about 6 months the nightly toe bitting stopped and Spence got really fat and seamed to be enjoying living with us. His new "routine" was to come lick your ears when you were trying to read. Chance and I fell in love with him. One morning I opened the door and out he darted never to return. The neighbors dog had the same idea that AM and it didn’t end well for Spencer.
I’ve heard it said that "familiarity breeds contempt" and in my case I believe it to be true. I think that I have a since of curiosity that led me to question something that I have no spiritual authority in. For that I sincerely (with the truest meaning of that word) apologize to the members of Jars of Clay, Third Day, and it’s moderating team.

~Are you going to be there tomorrow?~

2007-06-04T21:20:00.000-05:00

Mom just called, another surgery tomorrow. Are you going to be there? I will stop by but I can’t get the day off of work. I will definitely be there tomorrow night when he comes home... Need some chicken for supper?

Ever notice how the ordinary things of life seam so silly when faced with the mountains? The worship freq’s are with me. They’re feeling it too. The stirring in the atmosphere of God. The rising up all around... the anthem of the Lords resound...and together we sing...everyone sings... through the good times through the bad. Through the rain because of the reign! I know without a doubt that nothing but the will of God can come. But I want to get to the place in my life that I’m so hid in Christ that like Peter even my shadow passing by (Acts 5:15) will cause the favor of God that lives through me to bless others... and that they may not even know it was me BUT GOD! There is a shadow of heavenly things (Hebrews 8:5) that I want to flow through me!... Before I lay down this body I will be so hid in Christ! I will know and see and be transformed from who I am to what HE IS! I will be ye holy!

~Where there is no vision...~

2007-06-03T22:15:00.000-05:00

My thoughts have not stopped turning re: the frequency of God and accurately hearing what He is saying at all times... I’ve reread my own blog on the frequency and meditated on what He is saying to me. Every idle thought has been back to God. Then today in church the associate pastor was preaching from Proverbs 29:18. From the amplified "Where there is no vision [no redemptive revelation of God], the people perish; but he who keeps the law [of God, which includes that of man]– blessed (happy, fortunate, and enviable) is he. The sermon when on in the direction of the manner that you see God has to be with a clear vision, focus and then man will see the plan of God unfold before He does it. My mind when to the frequency of God... the very current of electricity that causes my heart to beat... Not how often He frequents, but the current of His frequency! The power to be all I need to be in Christ is running through that frequency and I know its there. I can feel it. I’ve never in my life been more aware that, not only is God in control and nothing but the will of God can come for me and my life, but His current is moving in me. But I need to see His vision... I need it in my home. I need it in my job, my life, my love, my pursuit of happiness! My very breath needs to see/feel/know the vision that God has over me.

~Its all about me~

2007-05-30T06:01:00.001-05:00

I had the strangest dream last night. I was falling into a large swirling lake and being swallowed up by me. I thought I was further along in my walk than that! But apparently its still all about me. I saw that written out in sequins on a tee shirt lately. A very frustrating place in life is to know that you are called. To feel the calling and drawing of the Holy Spirit on your life. To have Him wake you at all hours of the night just to talk to Him. And yet see this awful mirror image of your own selfishness. I think to myself, that’s not true, that’s just a dream. But deep down I know that’s what He wanted me to see. Becoming Holy is not an easy feat.
God I am sorry that I have allowed the me of my universe to overshadow the You of this universe. To have made You small, for thinking that You think and reason like I do.
This day I will bind mercy and truth around my neck and not forsake them. I will write them on the tablet of my heart, and so find favor and high esteem in the sight of God and man!! I will trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding!(Proverbs 3:3-5)

~Oh how good it is... when brothers dwell together~

2007-05-28T23:00:00.000-05:00

Ok so there were 13 of us total this past extended weekend. My brothers and their families took my son and went for a whole week. We had a full weekend of no arguments, no disagreements. We weren’t always in unison on what we wanted to eat or where we wanted to go. But we stayed together. We all had a common goal. We were there to spend as much time with our father. We’ve never really had fights among us. We grew up in a military family so we moved around a lot. As kids we were each others best friends. Now were not all of the same denomination. But we all still believe in the same God
It would be really neat to see the family of Christ living as each others best friends. Were none the same. We have our own families. We’re not the same denominations. But we all still believe in the same God. The symbolism of 12 of us hanging out, trying to get closer to our earthly father kept me thinking about hanging out and trying to get closer to my heavenly Father. I really pray that the mind set of the collective church will be transformed to looking for Him in everyday life. Not being so "heavenly minded that we’re no earthly good" but living our life with every thought, every action bringing us back to the realization that He exists. Not as a thing to hope for, or a standard to live up to but a real live person. Who still walks among us. Who still speaks to us, who still wants a relationship with us.
God I thank you for drawing me. Thank you for not leaving me to myself. Thank you for just being ever present in my life.

~I want to be the way I was made~

2007-05-24T19:13:00.000-05:00

Made in your image.. Made with your hands. Made to discover who You are and who I am...

I admitted 4 patients this week. Two of them have gallbladder or billiary duct cancer... I again feel as though I’m at the limit of my testing. Like the map of my life has the doppler radar scanning over it with multiple lightening strikes and areas of "red" warnings. I wonder sometimes if I’m not walking around with a message scrolling across the bottom of my page.
I wonder too if I’m being battered so much by this storm because I’m on the outside fringes of His will for my life. If I were pressed in closer to where I’m supposed to be wouldn’t the storm not feel so close. I get the image in my head of His hand stretched out, palm side down.. And me standing under it... The closer I am to the center then the more covering I have. I’m looking around for where & why I’m not in His perfect will for my life. God change me from who I am to what You are!
I know that faith and fear can’t operate in the same being so I’m leaning on what I know to be true. That nothing but the will of God can come for me.

~LOST~

2007-05-19T07:53:00.000-05:00

Some blogs take longer to find their way to words...This is one of those...
At my son’s birthday party the kids had come prepared to play "man hunt" (hide & seek with teams, the older kids version of the game) It was dark. We set boundaries. They had rules. As the game was progressing Chance came to me. Mama, we’ve lost someone. "What do you mean you’ve lost someone?" "We’ve looked for almost an hour and we can’t find him." Parent/Guardian called. Search teams gone out. 2 hours go by. Still no kid. Then miraculously here he walks up. Dirt on his clothes. Scratching his head. "I’m sorry...I fell asleep" In the middle of the party. In the middle of the game. Early in the evening. He fell asleep.
I forgot to take my communion yesterday morning. And in the middle of the day. In the middle of my job. Early in the day. It hits me, BAM! This thought explodes in my head... Don’t fall asleep. This is a battle. Lives are at stake. Souls could be lost. They could see this man of God fall, and in their anger turn away from God. I’ve set myself to fight. I’ve come to win. God has set boundaries. God has rules. Its dark right now, but I’ll not fall asleep!

~Proverbs 2~

2007-05-15T19:20:00.000-05:00

God I accept your words & store up your commandments. I turn my ear to your wisdom & apply my heart to understanding.
I’m still stuck in frequency mode. The airways are charged with the frequency of God. Now I’m wondering how many of us frequent Gods frequency? Is all I have to give enough? Am I God’s Cain or Able?
Yesterday was another MD’s apt for daddy. They had said your cancer free, but we need to do chemo/radiation to ensure that it doesn’t grow back again. They said he could wait until June to begin treatments. Then did another PET scan for radiation markers. The MD called last Thurs to say they needed him to come in as soon as possible. There is new activity.
Home from the MD last night for a family dinner & chat. They’ve told dad he has a 0-10% chance of recovery. He started 8 hours a day (one day a week) chemo coupled with radiation. Cyber knife next week...
BUT GOD!

~But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for~

2007-05-12T23:17:00.001-05:00

I don’t want to chase after something that’s not there.
Dream big, reach for the sky, things we hear as kids.... But I see people chasing after things, that in 5 years wont matter anymore. I have a 5 yr rule that I gage my life by... in 5 years if this fight wont matter, then don’t let it effect things now. If someone’s comment or action will not even be a vague memory then don’t allow it to grow into a major issue now.
I’ve been accused of not "selling out" to God. Not allowing Him to have total control over my life. Of chasing after things that don’t matter to God. This baffles me, I don’t get it. I don’t see it. God I want my eyes opened to see what it is that’s drawing me, what it is Im chasing after. And if its not truly you than I repent now and ask you to forgive me. Draw my focus back to you!

~The Frequency~

2007-05-12T07:54:00.001-05:00

Something happened last Sunday that I’ve spent a week mulling over, I’ve been consumed with these thoughts yet unable to find the correct words. Please read the whole story before making a judgement.
We have new cameras at church. Our regular switcher/ editor/ producer has been ill so I’m the fill in person. Last week while attempting to switch there were people in the contro9l room talking. The camera men were both talking. The pastor was in mind sermon talking. I wasn’t involved in any of the conversations yet I was aware of all their voices. My mind began to wander, I thought "I wonder if when the semi truckers go by will we still pick up a "squeal" on our head sets as they use their radios?...Oh wait.. No, we have these set up with cables not using airway frequencies. Simultaneously both camera men jerk their cameras as they fumble for their mic on switch and in stereo they say, "Ow, what was that?" "What was what?".. "That high pitched squeal, it like seriously hurt my ears!" I tuned to the people doing the sound- "Did y’all get anything?" The camera men- "No it wasn’t in the sanctuary it was in the head set.
All week I’ve played this scene over in my head. I know what happened. Our camera men are young men. They heard a frequency that I can no longer hear. My mind/brain somehow processed the information of the sound that my ears couldn’t translate.
All week I’ve thought, God you are speaking out of heaven over me & my life. My mind knows this, I believe that its happening yet my ears aren’t always able to hear your frequency.
"He who has an ear. Let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches..."Revelation 2:7
God I don’t want to miss anything else! Re-tune my ears to hear your frequency!

~I love how You love me! Psalm 18:19&20~

2007-05-05T21:25:00.000-05:00

I love that you care enough to always be there. I love your smile in the morning ~like the dew as its sets~ is always fresh. I love the feel of your breath on my cheek as I lean in to hear you speak. I love how you gently pull my hearts string awaking the river that flows from within me. I love how, no matter how many times I read your word, I always find something new in you. I love how your changing me from what I am to who you are. I love your vision & plan & design for my life. I love how gently you show me myself & love me enough to help me change it. I love how you have given your best for me. I love how you’ve replaced the loneliness with your lovingkindness. Thank you for not leaving me to myself. I love that you are bringing me forth into a larger place, delivering me because you delight in me! And because I have chosen to walk with clean hands and a pure heart you are pouring your love on me! I pour myself out to be an empty vessel for you to pour your love through. I love you my Lord, my God, my creator & my strong tower, my heartbeat & the very breath I breathe.

~You came running, looking for us!~

2007-05-03T18:30:00.001-05:00

My life lives and not just is!

O to find what I am divinely called to do instead of what I’m self called to be. You know you can want something so bad that you find a way to make it happen. But if your divinely called then it will come running/tracking you down, overtaking you, if you want it or not. I want to arrive at completeness [Eph 4:11] expressing truth. So that everyone who meets / sees me will sense something is different about me~ even if they’re not sure what it is... I want a life that wins & is filled with and controlled by the Holy Spirit of God!

~May 1,2007~ I've found Your favor!

2007-05-01T22:14:00.000-05:00

You have found favor, lovingkindness & mercy in my sight, & I know you personally & by name. Exodus 33:17
Isn’t it nice when someone famous appears to recognize you? Like the commercial on TV where the woman is walking & all of the celbs stop to watch her walk by. My pastor said Sunday that if we don’t hold fast our confession & say that we have the favor of God no one else will either!
God your word tells me that I have found favor & lovingkindness & mercy in your sight~ You know me personally & by my name & for that I think that you are worthy of my good conduct. God I trust you to scrap away all of the things in my life that I think are my greatest gifts and talents and leave me with just you and & I. To stand unveiled and revealed in your presence. I want to know you with the same depth that you know me. You are the high priest over the grace & mercy in my life & I love you with everything I have in me. & I ask that you even strip that away and replace it with your perfect love! I choose to trust you in all things, always~ now and forevermore.

~Matthew 3:16-17~

2007-04-29T21:50:00.000-05:00

NIV After being baptized Jesus came up immediately from the water, & behold the heavens were opened & he saw the spirit of God descending as a dove & lightening on Him. & behold a voice out of the heavens, said, "This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well-pleased."
This wasn’t the sermon today, in fact it was just something that was spoken as an example for something else. I was doing the switching for the TV ministry but when I heard this it exploded in my head, [follow camera 1, I need more head room camera 2] Wow, God spoke out of heaven but only a handful of people heard Him. Today, He is still speaking out of heaven, and only a handful of people have/are hearing Him. They think they are but, if He’s speaking then, wouldn’t we all be hearing the same thing? [cam2 head room! No don’t zoom~ correct the head room... I know that zooming works to correct head room but that’s not the shot I want! Zoom in/pan up!] All the time its growing in my brain. I’m saying head room~ they’re translating zoom~ While zooming out does give you more head room it alters the outcome. If were all hearing but adjusting things differently, no wonder we all have different outlooks/ views/ perspectives. Then we spend time trying to correct each other [you need to pan not zoom]

~Your Glory Revealed~

2007-04-28T09:34:00.000-05:00

...and then we will see the glory of the Lord revealed....
Sorry for not posting a blog yesterday but I got the opportunity to go see the Glory Revealed tour, and it was an amazing evening. David Nasser made a comment that has got me thinking. He said something along the lines of show me a church, that if the pastor were called away to preach somewhere else [because its scripture~that can happen with a right motive and a right calling] but show me a church that falls apart when that happens and I'll show you a church that has placed its faith/hope/trust in a pastor and not the Lord. That statement will make me change how I worship tomorrow. God forgive me for my love of the ministry and my love for praise. I don't want to be guilty of emotion and not devotion. While I do open my bible daily its often just to find inspiration for my journal [that has recently become this blog] We were asked can you quote one scripture with passage and verse for every year that you've been a Christian? My son could. I can rattle off the top of my head the mini verse catch phrases, "The joy of the Lord is my strength" etc, and all of the Chris Tomlin/Matt Redman/ Hillsongs and of corse my Thirdday songs that are scripture set to verse but I cant tell you where to open your bible to in order to find it. So I basically have words that sound beautiful & inspire& sometimes lead you to into an emotional "Mountain of God" but I don't have the ability to tell you where to turn to read it for yourself. For that I'm sorry God. So rather than get a big concordance & walk around with it, I choose to get to know, really know with a depth of understanding, I want to know you my Lord God almighty!

~You are Holy~

2007-04-28T09:33:00.000-05:00

I am wholly yours O God! Ezra 8:28 says, "Your are holy unto the Lord" Today is a bad pain day which usually translates as a good pain med day, but not today. If I believe that God you never change, and I have unfailing love for me then today is the day I walk free. I want to know you God & be so close to you that I don't even realize where I stop and you start. I want to be wholly holy yours! I don't care about what I see, hear & feel because in the scope of eternity, what is today? And what am I if not yours? I know you love me I've seen your favor in my life, I've felt you move~ I've heard your voice~! Nothing, NOTHING in my life matters compared to you and your glory. Lord make me more like you today. I feel you drawing me & I don't know what for but I want to be a holy vessel that you can trust. I want you God to be able to trust my motives, my mouth, my attitude, trust where I place my foot and lay my hand, I want you to trust your very presence inside of me. So that its not me but you that lives thru me! God if I'm to be single the rest of my days~ show me how to walk it out your way! Show me how to walk thru the ain& the heart break over my dad& still be found on the other side praising. Show me how to trust what I know about you to be true, that nothing but the will of God can come. More than me I want you!!

~I will not be silent~

2007-04-28T09:32:00.002-05:00

Hold not thy peace O god of my praise! Psalm 109
I felt a change this morning, that I couldn't explain. Its been three days since Sunday. LOL I know nothing but the will of God can come. I've known that my praise ushers in your peace~Thank you for Your word that won't let me go! I thank you God for inspiring and giving my praise to those that put it to rhyme and give it back to me. The things of my heart that I don't know how to express, you've given to those who say it best. Thank you praisers /worshipers for living a life obedient to the call of the ministry & for the sacrifice that you make to be a vessel worthy of honor. I will live with pure hands and a clean heart so that my praise will not be in vein, but rather His praise will run through my veins and my heart will beat with yours O God now and forever more!

~All I have to Give~

2007-04-28T09:32:00.001-05:00

You say, all that follow you may find, comfort and pain, blessings in hard times...

WOW If that's true a blessing is surely about to come! I'm waiting for the heavens to open up and pour its love on me!! When you write/make public your declarations of your pursuit of holy life, blameless before men, don't you know you're going to have multiple opportunities throughout the day to prove your words! I'm there. Today. Walking thru the mire of my life. I will hold my tongue! All I want is love~I confess to this and I will take it Lord all you to give. All you have. To give.