The sole intent of this blog post is that I pray it comes up to for anyone doing a google search for Travel Nursing, American Mobil Nursing or Preferred Healthcare Staffing.
For my very first travel nursing assignment, I chose Preferred Healthcare Staffing. I drove out to Houston Texas on September 4th to start my new assignment on September 8th with TOPS Surgical Hospital. I was interviewed over the phone by both Preferred Healthcare Staffing. and TOPS for a position as an 11-7 circulating RN in the operating room.
On my first day as I was being introduced to everyone, my OR manager said, "This is Janet, she will be doing the 12-8 shift." I didn't correct her but did come home, check my contract and called my recruiter, Nick. Nick assures me that he had no idea the hours were to be 12-8 but asked me to be flexible for now. I agreed. One hour either way wasn't that big of a deal, right?
As the first week progressed, IKE headed for Houston. I was the "last man standing" as it were, in the OR. I did the last case of the evening, I stayed later than the "staff" of the OR did, to secure the equipment used during my case. The rest of the equipment had already been taken care of. We faxed in my time card for the first week without the last shift's hours since we had to cover and unplug the fax machine prior to leaving for the day. The OR manager stated that it wouldn't matter because I was guaranteed my time anyway, right? It was for 19.5 hours.
The Monday and Tuesday after IKE the OR was damaged and we were told not to come to work. There was no power or water. The staff had a meeting and it was determined that they were going to be paid for the three days that the facility was closed. For the remainder of the week we were told to come in at 9:30 to re-sterilize the equipment, and clean up the OR. Lunch was provided because there was still no power. We were working on back up generator. We worked a grand total of 20hrs that week cleaning. On Thursday of that week I got my first pay check. And it was for 19.5 hours. NOT the 40hrs guaranteed that I was supposed to get.
Upon calling into payroll I was informed that this facility was not a guaranteed pay week facility. I protested. I have a contract. It says guaranteed hours! They agree. Yes it is guaranteed. We're sorry. "Since its so late today we'll wire you the money on Friday." Friday comes and goes and still no wire. I called back. "OH I see where it was to be wired. But since its so late today, we'll wire you the money on Monday." Monday comes and I get a wire for 8hrs of work. Wait. 8+19.5 does not equal 40!
Payroll explains that I'm confused about the wording of my contract. Forget that my recruiter, Nick, had told me on the phone, "Your guaranteed 40hours no matter how many you work." And my OR manager had said, "Your guaranteed 40hours no matter what, right?" Payroll says that I'm to be paid for 40hours IF the facility cancels me MORE than 24 hours in a pay week. Forget that the contract says "24 hours per assignment, which are cancelled by the Facility and cannot be made up during the pay cycle."
So basically, I've been hired to do a shift that only gets around 30-35 hours of work every week. The OR schedule is finished most days by 6pm. So I work 6-7hours a day. If I try to break the contract, I owe them $8hr for the rest of the contracted 13 weeks. (I have 10 weeks left or $3200) I've packed up, moved 900 miles from home, to work part time.
When I spoke with payroll last night the voice on the other end of the phone made the comment, "Its a common mis perception regarding the guaranteed work week." Indicating to me that out there somewhere is another RN who thought, was mislead to believe that she/he was getting paid for 40 hours a week on this new exciting career with American Mobil Nursing or Preferred Healthcare Staffing.
I would pay to have this blog post be in the top google searches if it saved someone else from American Mobil Nursing or Preferred Healthcare Staffing.
I'd love to hear from you if you too have been mislead by American Mobil Nursing or Preferred Healthcare Staffing.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
9/11,12,13,14 Houston Texas- IKE
Finishing up the last case of the day on 9/11 there was an uncertainty in the air of Houston, TX.
A waiting. An anticipation. An anxiety. People were unsure about future plans. To stay or evacuate. All eyes, all ears, all channels tuned to find the latest news, information... hope. What would the storm bring? What should we expect? What do we do now?
Then came IKE.
Friday found all who were uncertain before scrambling for plans now. To evacuate or not a mute point. It was clear IKE was here & it was too late to change coarse now.
I am one who was among the 3million urged to "shelter in place." Not close enough to run from the waves, told to hide from the wind.
I am a native Floridian. Not a stranger to hurricanes. I moved to Houston one week before. Just after tropical storm Fay brushed by Jacksonville. Blowing down trees, dumping rain. I worked through that storm. Home care never stops.
Here in Houston, I'm back working in the operating room where its a safer feeling for me. I've worked in an OR, for the most part, since 1992.
I packed up my son and piled in with my cousin Angie to 'hunker down' for the storm. While her home in Katy was technically further South, and therefore closer to the areas that would presumably be affected, it was a home and not an apartment building. There is no place like home. No feeling like being with loved ones.
Friday night was long. We stayed up. Eyes glued to the T.V. Where was IKE? What category? Where was the eye going to land? And where was Jim Cantore? [He's my favorite meteorologists but you never want to be in a storm & hear he's in your neighborhood, because that means the worst is headed to you!]
Katy didn't get the break from the passage of the 'eye.' It was non stop. We sat, napped, stared, twitterd & prayed through the whole storm.
Here's a log of some of my actual time storm tweets:
* getting the first of tropical force winds here in Katy 11:40 PM September 12, 2008
* @dannylondon is it raining in Seattle? 12:15 AM September 13, 2008
* @sunnieM getting some winds&rains but still a long way2go before the eye&the bad side hits us (should b in AM) 12:48 AM September 13, 2008
* praying for daylight.... 01:09 AM September 13, 2008
* power surging off&on again... 01:36 AM September 13, 2008
* power just went out.... I think I'm gonna try &get some sleep 03:10 AM September 13, 2008
* woke up this AM the winds haven't stopped..the 'eye' isn't going 2 cross us 2 give us a 'break' 06:21 AM September 13, 2008
* we're really taking a beating the house is holding up no tree damage to Angie's house or any ones car no flooding turning phone back off/love yall 06:27 AM September 13, 2008
* BTW we can't get calls in/out but we can get/send text msg (Aunt Alice/Angie&I are sleeping/praying in intervals little scared but were gonna be OK 06:39 AM September 13, 2008
* if u r watching flooding breaks in Addicks/Bear Creek/ Copper Field would be our "area" 06:41 AM September 13, 2008
* funny how at times like these songs float through your prayers... I will Praise You in THIS Storm!! 08:08 AM September 13, 2008
* getting tired from all this circling...not much grace left on a broken wing......(thanks JARS great song!) 09:04 AM September 13, 2008
* still raining here in Katy 02:46 PM September 13, 2008
* the forecaster was right today... windy & rainy here in Houston:) 03:17 PM September 13, 2008
* I know it seams a little trivial now but we have no power so all we have is local news on radio/IKE fatigue/would love some updates 4 UGA game 05:29 PM September 13, 2008
* @corrine_mamag yup! @marklee3d & @barihouse helped relieve some IKE fatigue! nothing on radio/tv but constant damage updates/nothing new 06:35 PM September 13, 2008
* @marklee3d that's cooler than the window ac unit we've gt hooked up 2 the generator 02:47 AM September 14, 2008
* I hate how I have no contact w/ outside world then my phone all-of-a-sudden acts like its having a seizure as I get a plethora of tweets at once! 02:53 AM September 14, 2008
* God your grace is enough 4Houston& 4me. I know that nothing but the will of God can come4 us who choose You&Your will4 our lives. 03:04 AM September 14, 2008
* So right now as an act of my will I choose2 praise You! In the storm/thru the storm/in spite of the storm because U R still God & U still reign! 03:07 AM September 14, 2008
* Its raining n Houston again BUT the anchor holds tho the ship is battered&the sails r torn,I have fallen on my knees as I face the raging c 03:28 AM September 14, 2008
* the anchor holds in spite of the storm! (Rich Mullens?) 03:30 AM September 14, 2008
* network still unavailable for wireless web...no power...now the waters out& its still raining...BUT God! 08:58 AM September 14, 2008
* God I praise you that gas is only $3.43 here 10:02 AM September 14, 2008
* I also thank you that Shipleys is OPEN!!! 10:22 AM September 14, 2008
* Shipleys didn't have kolaches :( but got my donuts! (its the little things in life...game scores...good memories w/ friends&sweets) 10:34 AM September 14, 2008
* I HAVE POWER!! and Cable...it truly is Comcastic...waiting to see if the net is up :) 03:14 PM September 14, 2008
Minimal damage to Angie's home. But she still doesn't have power. I'm back at my apartment now.
A waiting. An anticipation. An anxiety. People were unsure about future plans. To stay or evacuate. All eyes, all ears, all channels tuned to find the latest news, information... hope. What would the storm bring? What should we expect? What do we do now?
Then came IKE.
Friday found all who were uncertain before scrambling for plans now. To evacuate or not a mute point. It was clear IKE was here & it was too late to change coarse now.
I am one who was among the 3million urged to "shelter in place." Not close enough to run from the waves, told to hide from the wind.
I am a native Floridian. Not a stranger to hurricanes. I moved to Houston one week before. Just after tropical storm Fay brushed by Jacksonville. Blowing down trees, dumping rain. I worked through that storm. Home care never stops.
Here in Houston, I'm back working in the operating room where its a safer feeling for me. I've worked in an OR, for the most part, since 1992.
I packed up my son and piled in with my cousin Angie to 'hunker down' for the storm. While her home in Katy was technically further South, and therefore closer to the areas that would presumably be affected, it was a home and not an apartment building. There is no place like home. No feeling like being with loved ones.
Friday night was long. We stayed up. Eyes glued to the T.V. Where was IKE? What category? Where was the eye going to land? And where was Jim Cantore? [He's my favorite meteorologists but you never want to be in a storm & hear he's in your neighborhood, because that means the worst is headed to you!]
Katy didn't get the break from the passage of the 'eye.' It was non stop. We sat, napped, stared, twitterd & prayed through the whole storm.
Here's a log of some of my actual time storm tweets:
* getting the first of tropical force winds here in Katy 11:40 PM September 12, 2008
* @dannylondon is it raining in Seattle? 12:15 AM September 13, 2008
* @sunnieM getting some winds&rains but still a long way2go before the eye&the bad side hits us (should b in AM) 12:48 AM September 13, 2008
* praying for daylight.... 01:09 AM September 13, 2008
* power surging off&on again... 01:36 AM September 13, 2008
* power just went out.... I think I'm gonna try &get some sleep 03:10 AM September 13, 2008
* woke up this AM the winds haven't stopped..the 'eye' isn't going 2 cross us 2 give us a 'break' 06:21 AM September 13, 2008
* we're really taking a beating the house is holding up no tree damage to Angie's house or any ones car no flooding turning phone back off/love yall 06:27 AM September 13, 2008
* BTW we can't get calls in/out but we can get/send text msg (Aunt Alice/Angie&I are sleeping/praying in intervals little scared but were gonna be OK 06:39 AM September 13, 2008
* if u r watching flooding breaks in Addicks/Bear Creek/ Copper Field would be our "area" 06:41 AM September 13, 2008
* funny how at times like these songs float through your prayers... I will Praise You in THIS Storm!! 08:08 AM September 13, 2008
* getting tired from all this circling...not much grace left on a broken wing......(thanks JARS great song!) 09:04 AM September 13, 2008
* still raining here in Katy 02:46 PM September 13, 2008
* the forecaster was right today... windy & rainy here in Houston:) 03:17 PM September 13, 2008
* I know it seams a little trivial now but we have no power so all we have is local news on radio/IKE fatigue/would love some updates 4 UGA game 05:29 PM September 13, 2008
* @corrine_mamag yup! @marklee3d & @barihouse helped relieve some IKE fatigue! nothing on radio/tv but constant damage updates/nothing new 06:35 PM September 13, 2008
* @marklee3d that's cooler than the window ac unit we've gt hooked up 2 the generator 02:47 AM September 14, 2008
* I hate how I have no contact w/ outside world then my phone all-of-a-sudden acts like its having a seizure as I get a plethora of tweets at once! 02:53 AM September 14, 2008
* God your grace is enough 4Houston& 4me. I know that nothing but the will of God can come4 us who choose You&Your will4 our lives. 03:04 AM September 14, 2008
* So right now as an act of my will I choose2 praise You! In the storm/thru the storm/in spite of the storm because U R still God & U still reign! 03:07 AM September 14, 2008
* Its raining n Houston again BUT the anchor holds tho the ship is battered&the sails r torn,I have fallen on my knees as I face the raging c 03:28 AM September 14, 2008
* the anchor holds in spite of the storm! (Rich Mullens?) 03:30 AM September 14, 2008
* network still unavailable for wireless web...no power...now the waters out& its still raining...BUT God! 08:58 AM September 14, 2008
* God I praise you that gas is only $3.43 here 10:02 AM September 14, 2008
* I also thank you that Shipleys is OPEN!!! 10:22 AM September 14, 2008
* Shipleys didn't have kolaches :( but got my donuts! (its the little things in life...game scores...good memories w/ friends&sweets) 10:34 AM September 14, 2008
* I HAVE POWER!! and Cable...it truly is Comcastic...waiting to see if the net is up :) 03:14 PM September 14, 2008
Minimal damage to Angie's home. But she still doesn't have power. I'm back at my apartment now.
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
On the Third Day God created vegetation
I wish I could sit and "veg" today. But tomorrow is moving day. I really hate that moving means I'm going to have to miss Third Day at Rock the Universe, and Third Day in Savannah, GA with all the girls, and Third Day in Ocala, and Third Day in Tampa...wait why am I going?
If you are a member of Third Day's fan club "WIRED" today begins the pre-sale. You can also sign up for meet&greet passes to most of the shows. Its a pretty sweet deal (if your into that sorta stuff)
I saw Third Day LIVE this past weekend at Wild Adventures in Valdosta GA. I have pictures up on my FACEBOOK account. I'm looking forward to the rest of the Music Builds Tour!
If you are a member of Third Day's fan club "WIRED" today begins the pre-sale. You can also sign up for meet&greet passes to most of the shows. Its a pretty sweet deal (if your into that sorta stuff)
I saw Third Day LIVE this past weekend at Wild Adventures in Valdosta GA. I have pictures up on my FACEBOOK account. I'm looking forward to the rest of the Music Builds Tour!
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Generation Kill
Has anyone been following this show on HBO? I would love to hear from some service people. Tonights episode, Burning Dog, starts off with our military watching a village, identifying only women and children. Then blowing the village off the face of the planet. Please tell me this isn't a truthful depiction of what is really going on. If so, can anyone explain the logic?
Hey Jennifer & Jason thank you so much for installing my new closet. I won't keep repeating the same mistakes. ;) Thanks for your unconditional support of all of my harebrained ideas too. Your the greatest!! LOL
Hey Jennifer & Jason thank you so much for installing my new closet. I won't keep repeating the same mistakes. ;) Thanks for your unconditional support of all of my harebrained ideas too. Your the greatest!! LOL
Sunday, August 03, 2008
On the Third Day
On the third day of every month. We Gomers blog about Third Day. Its the Gomer thing to do. This week was street week for Third Days new CD Revelation. There were secret shows, earthquakes and lots of twitters to celebrate the release. The hype is not over rated. This is one of Third Days best CD's to date. Even if they don't thank the fans, if some of the songs sound like wire...blah blah blah I've heard all the negative and guess what? Its still not enough negative to take away from the positive attributes of this CD. From start to finish, REVELATION ROCKS!
My favorite song is OTHERSIDE. Co-written by Mac Powell and Tai Anderson, it has the strongest punch of pure energy on the CD. With Robert Randolph playing the pedal guitar on the CD I'm hoping that he joins the the band on stage for the live version of the song too.
The Music Builds Tour is going to be the hottest ticket of the fall. I have already purchased tickets to 4 of the shows. I'd suggest that you do the same. Get them early because you will not want to sit in the back for this show!!
Alright, Lets ROCK IT!!
My favorite song is OTHERSIDE. Co-written by Mac Powell and Tai Anderson, it has the strongest punch of pure energy on the CD. With Robert Randolph playing the pedal guitar on the CD I'm hoping that he joins the the band on stage for the live version of the song too.
The Music Builds Tour is going to be the hottest ticket of the fall. I have already purchased tickets to 4 of the shows. I'd suggest that you do the same. Get them early because you will not want to sit in the back for this show!!
Alright, Lets ROCK IT!!
Friday, August 01, 2008
Is it safe to land?
I have just written a review on the new Jars of Clay EP CLOSER (available on iTunes now). It tends to take a while for it to make it up to inReview but I wanted to share it with you. If your one of those who cant afford to buy another EP/CD right now, do yourself a favor and download the song Safe To Land (for $0.99). It could be one of the best Jars of Clay songs ever. Let me know what you think about it. (I wish that I was in love. And that he would write a song like that to me.)
Jars of Clay is at it again. In the studio working on a new CD. To whet the appetite of their fans they have released an EP of songs to iTunes called CLOSER. When I heard the first song released, the title track Closer, I was taken back by the lightheartedness of the song. Usually a Jars of Clay song is deep and multi layered. They can be considered a “deep thinking” mans band. Not that the casual listener won’t like their music, but without much thought you really don’t understand or grasp the full meaning of most of Jars of Clays material. So listening to the casual, almost silliness of Closer had me wondering if I was hearing a new Jars of Clay. The song has a catchy chorus even if the first lyrics are somewhat basic/ elementary. At first listen, I didn’t like it. But I held out criticism until I could hear the whole EP. I am glad I did. With every listen I like the single Closer more and more, however it was love at first listen to the song Safe To Land. WOW this is a powerful song. One that every person in love will wish that their mate would have written to them. I’m coming home if these wheels touch down/ I’m coming home/ I’m waking you up/ in the middle of the night/ I’m not giving up/ I’m gonna stay until we make it work/ We’re not going down even if it gets worse/ We’ll work it out/ I need your light/ guide me in/ is it safe?”
The band has reworked Love Song for A Savior and Flood (New Rain) in such a way that makes you want to listen to these songs again as if they were new. Rounding out the EP is Prisoner of Hope. Yet another classic thought provoking song that invokes true emotions in its listeners, “Let the wind run out of breath/ make you bleed from the heart/ and ache from the mind.... Fall into me/I’ll turn your ashes into flames...Prisoner of hope it won’t be long now/Prisoner of Hope you can be strong now/Prisoner I hope you carry on now/Prisoner your love can’t be held down”
If this EP is indicative of what lies in store for Jars of Clay I’m glad that they are back at it. I’m looking forward to hearing these songs live on the Music Builds Tour and anticipating the full release of their new CD due out in the Spring of ‘09 on their independent label Grey Matters. Jars of Clay has come home, and I think its safe for this EP to land. CLOSER is available on iTunes and will be available at their live shows.
Jars of Clay is at it again. In the studio working on a new CD. To whet the appetite of their fans they have released an EP of songs to iTunes called CLOSER. When I heard the first song released, the title track Closer, I was taken back by the lightheartedness of the song. Usually a Jars of Clay song is deep and multi layered. They can be considered a “deep thinking” mans band. Not that the casual listener won’t like their music, but without much thought you really don’t understand or grasp the full meaning of most of Jars of Clays material. So listening to the casual, almost silliness of Closer had me wondering if I was hearing a new Jars of Clay. The song has a catchy chorus even if the first lyrics are somewhat basic/ elementary. At first listen, I didn’t like it. But I held out criticism until I could hear the whole EP. I am glad I did. With every listen I like the single Closer more and more, however it was love at first listen to the song Safe To Land. WOW this is a powerful song. One that every person in love will wish that their mate would have written to them. I’m coming home if these wheels touch down/ I’m coming home/ I’m waking you up/ in the middle of the night/ I’m not giving up/ I’m gonna stay until we make it work/ We’re not going down even if it gets worse/ We’ll work it out/ I need your light/ guide me in/ is it safe?”
The band has reworked Love Song for A Savior and Flood (New Rain) in such a way that makes you want to listen to these songs again as if they were new. Rounding out the EP is Prisoner of Hope. Yet another classic thought provoking song that invokes true emotions in its listeners, “Let the wind run out of breath/ make you bleed from the heart/ and ache from the mind.... Fall into me/I’ll turn your ashes into flames...Prisoner of hope it won’t be long now/Prisoner of Hope you can be strong now/Prisoner I hope you carry on now/Prisoner your love can’t be held down”
If this EP is indicative of what lies in store for Jars of Clay I’m glad that they are back at it. I’m looking forward to hearing these songs live on the Music Builds Tour and anticipating the full release of their new CD due out in the Spring of ‘09 on their independent label Grey Matters. Jars of Clay has come home, and I think its safe for this EP to land. CLOSER is available on iTunes and will be available at their live shows.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Third Day rocks LA!
Third Day heads to LA today to play on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. They are such an awesome band. I've always knew that Third Day rocks. Today even the ground shook! Yes I went there... Third Day rocked LA!
I love Revelation. As I opened the CD (I've had a copy of it since GMA week) to study the CD artwork. I like to read all the CD liners. You can find out interesting stuff there. As I read through I was touched by the thank you to Brad Avery. (I still feel as though there has been a terrible divorce and, as fans, we are the children caught in the middle.) What didn't touch me was the "thank you" from the band. "...We would also like to thank our families, friends, and home churches for giving us the encouragement and support to live out our dreams." Not one mention of a thanks to the fans.
I'm praying that the non mention of fans only means that it was an over sight and not an indication that Third Day no longer "Loves" its fans but rather merely needs us now!
All good things come to an end~ or so they say. (I wonder who 'they' are!) I refuse to believe that this is the end of the Gomers, or the Third Day love for their fans.
If you don't have a copy of REVELATION the new studio CD from Third Day, whats wrong with you?!?! The CD is good. I love it.
Thank You Third Day!
I love Revelation. As I opened the CD (I've had a copy of it since GMA week) to study the CD artwork. I like to read all the CD liners. You can find out interesting stuff there. As I read through I was touched by the thank you to Brad Avery. (I still feel as though there has been a terrible divorce and, as fans, we are the children caught in the middle.) What didn't touch me was the "thank you" from the band. "...We would also like to thank our families, friends, and home churches for giving us the encouragement and support to live out our dreams." Not one mention of a thanks to the fans.
I'm praying that the non mention of fans only means that it was an over sight and not an indication that Third Day no longer "Loves" its fans but rather merely needs us now!
All good things come to an end~ or so they say. (I wonder who 'they' are!) I refuse to believe that this is the end of the Gomers, or the Third Day love for their fans.
If you don't have a copy of REVELATION the new studio CD from Third Day, whats wrong with you?!?! The CD is good. I love it.
Thank You Third Day!
Friday, July 25, 2008
Revelation in 3 Days!
One day I'm going to get organized. I'm going to stop procrastinating. My closet fell this past week. Maybe I'll start there. Its a new pay cycle so all of my charting has to be done by Sunday. Maybe I'll stop procrastinating after that.
I'm watching a comedian on TV who is so funny. I don't remember the last time I sat and laughed, alone. LOL. No seriously I'm laughing out loud at this guy. Daniel Tosh. One day he's going to be famous. I know because he just told me so.
Chance just came home. He even thinks this guy is funny. That's really saying something because Chance is the funnest person ever.
OH yeah Third Day's new CD Revelation releases in 3 DAYS! Get it, you'll love it. I promise :)
I'm watching a comedian on TV who is so funny. I don't remember the last time I sat and laughed, alone. LOL. No seriously I'm laughing out loud at this guy. Daniel Tosh. One day he's going to be famous. I know because he just told me so.
Chance just came home. He even thinks this guy is funny. That's really saying something because Chance is the funnest person ever.
OH yeah Third Day's new CD Revelation releases in 3 DAYS! Get it, you'll love it. I promise :)
Sunday, July 20, 2008
When the banks became cathedrals ...
I was listening to Cold Play yesterday and this line stuck out at me. I know when they wrote it the analogy was probably inferring that we started worshiping money so therefore the "banks became cathedrals."
When I heard it yesterday my thought was, hum. How true that line is, but on a different level. Today as the banks are closing, they are no more than hollow empty places to be. Very similar to some of the Cathedrals, or houses of God of today. After all aren't we to be the house of God?
Some days I feel hollow. I think I eat too much on those days. LOL Why am I searching and what I searching for? I have God. I know where He is and where He fits in my life. Why isn't that enough? I think maybe, I'm searching for a different "him" haha. I've never done that before.
Here I sit at 10:23 on a Sunday night, with a whole week of charting that needs to be done, eating a double cheese burger from 5 Guys and Some Fries. Pouring my heart out to a blank computer page, with a mindless TV blaring in the background for noise to drown out the quiet. In stead of cuddling up with a book, resting my head listening to the heart beat of another. (That is assuming my charting was done)
When I heard it yesterday my thought was, hum. How true that line is, but on a different level. Today as the banks are closing, they are no more than hollow empty places to be. Very similar to some of the Cathedrals, or houses of God of today. After all aren't we to be the house of God?
Some days I feel hollow. I think I eat too much on those days. LOL Why am I searching and what I searching for? I have God. I know where He is and where He fits in my life. Why isn't that enough? I think maybe, I'm searching for a different "him" haha. I've never done that before.
Here I sit at 10:23 on a Sunday night, with a whole week of charting that needs to be done, eating a double cheese burger from 5 Guys and Some Fries. Pouring my heart out to a blank computer page, with a mindless TV blaring in the background for noise to drown out the quiet. In stead of cuddling up with a book, resting my head listening to the heart beat of another. (That is assuming my charting was done)
Friday, July 18, 2008
Another day at the beach with my mom. The waves were pounding today. I fell asleep listening to them. I awoke, turned, slept some more. I sit tonight feeling the repercussion of my actions. My only transgression seams to be that in my eyes. They are a lovely shade of purple with pink puffiness.
It seams as though I am defying all that I've held in truth. I'm finding a new and beautiful truth is abounding all around me. A peace within. Someone once told me in conversation that we are all "wounded healers." He spoke it with such ease and casualness that I wonder if he even realized the depth of what he was saying to me.
Wounded healers are often those who have been wounded in some way, and now try to help others through struggles. In my mind that is not at all what I am going through. At first I thought this remark was spoken at random, in random. I love randomness. It causes you to think, to have another thought process interjected into the course that you had already laid out, the response that you had predetermined that you were going to give.
Yet the more I pondered this seemingly random string of words placed together in my path, I wonder if they're random at all. I do believe that there are no accidents in life. Things happen for a reason in due season. But why did that phrase grab me.
My pain is not from a wound. The reflections of own soul are what is haunting me. I became complacent. I gave up a long time ago. It was as if I ceased to exist to become what was expected of me. I stopped all that I held dear because I was told that is/was not my "destiny" in life. I became a nurse at the advise of others, and it has not been an altogether bad thing. It has given me an income that has kept me self sufficient. Needing no one.
Doug told me once that the one thing he hated about me was that I pretended like nothing was wrong. I admit, I do take the Scarlet O'Hare approach to things, "I'll not think about that today." I always revert back to my 5 year rule. If this fight/ situation/ argument/ disagreement won't matter in 5 years, why let it matter now? Maybe I've gone there so much that I refuse to allow anything to matter to me. I don't know. But I want to find out. I'm searching, I'm looking, I'm open.
(PS no MP3 player at the beach... how impressive is that.. all this chatter and no musical background for inspiration?!? LOL)
It seams as though I am defying all that I've held in truth. I'm finding a new and beautiful truth is abounding all around me. A peace within. Someone once told me in conversation that we are all "wounded healers." He spoke it with such ease and casualness that I wonder if he even realized the depth of what he was saying to me.
Wounded healers are often those who have been wounded in some way, and now try to help others through struggles. In my mind that is not at all what I am going through. At first I thought this remark was spoken at random, in random. I love randomness. It causes you to think, to have another thought process interjected into the course that you had already laid out, the response that you had predetermined that you were going to give.
Yet the more I pondered this seemingly random string of words placed together in my path, I wonder if they're random at all. I do believe that there are no accidents in life. Things happen for a reason in due season. But why did that phrase grab me.
My pain is not from a wound. The reflections of own soul are what is haunting me. I became complacent. I gave up a long time ago. It was as if I ceased to exist to become what was expected of me. I stopped all that I held dear because I was told that is/was not my "destiny" in life. I became a nurse at the advise of others, and it has not been an altogether bad thing. It has given me an income that has kept me self sufficient. Needing no one.
Doug told me once that the one thing he hated about me was that I pretended like nothing was wrong. I admit, I do take the Scarlet O'Hare approach to things, "I'll not think about that today." I always revert back to my 5 year rule. If this fight/ situation/ argument/ disagreement won't matter in 5 years, why let it matter now? Maybe I've gone there so much that I refuse to allow anything to matter to me. I don't know. But I want to find out. I'm searching, I'm looking, I'm open.
(PS no MP3 player at the beach... how impressive is that.. all this chatter and no musical background for inspiration?!? LOL)
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
I am not obsessed with him... Seriously I'm not. But, OK maybe a little. But he is SOOOOO funny! (Or at least his writers are)
Thank you girls for my "concert" phone call!
BTW I am NOT talking about Chris ;)
Thank you girls for my "concert" phone call!
BTW I am NOT talking about Chris ;)
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
I sat with Jennifer in church Sunday night. She asked me to come sit with her. Jason was on cameras. It was nice to feel wanted. Jennifer writes left handed. I think it's so graceful and beautiful. My right handed penmanship is pretty. I hear it all the time, "Your handwriting is so beautiful."
I'm searching for my echo. To find that with which I can be satisfied 80% of the time. I know that I'd rather remain utterly lonely and alone than to settle for that which does not fit in with the inner music of my soul. In the past I've questioned my ability to love outside of myself, now I question the ability of a stranger to see through love what I am inside, and it want to enter into my circle.
Every door I ever tried was locked/ Oh I'm just waiting 'till the shine wears off.
I'm not sure at what point I could no longer contain my fascination with Jennifer's penmanship [which by-the-way for as graceful and beautiful as the movements are... its outcome is not!] On the back of the bulletin I scratched out, "I'm going to teach myself to write left handed, I'm bored writing right handed." To which there was only one appropriate response that fits my circle of perception and depth of reality... "Dork"
Hello, (Hello) Is there anybody in there?/Just nod if you can hear me...
God help me to find my community of belonging with those whom my soul loves and my heart understands.
No I don't want a battle from beginning to end/ I don't want to cycle love and cycle revenge/ I don't want to follow death and all of his friends.
I'm searching for my echo. To find that with which I can be satisfied 80% of the time. I know that I'd rather remain utterly lonely and alone than to settle for that which does not fit in with the inner music of my soul. In the past I've questioned my ability to love outside of myself, now I question the ability of a stranger to see through love what I am inside, and it want to enter into my circle.
Every door I ever tried was locked/ Oh I'm just waiting 'till the shine wears off.
I'm not sure at what point I could no longer contain my fascination with Jennifer's penmanship [which by-the-way for as graceful and beautiful as the movements are... its outcome is not!] On the back of the bulletin I scratched out, "I'm going to teach myself to write left handed, I'm bored writing right handed." To which there was only one appropriate response that fits my circle of perception and depth of reality... "Dork"
Hello, (Hello) Is there anybody in there?/Just nod if you can hear me...
God help me to find my community of belonging with those whom my soul loves and my heart understands.
No I don't want a battle from beginning to end/ I don't want to cycle love and cycle revenge/ I don't want to follow death and all of his friends.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Some days I struggle more with what lies inside, not the realities of the truth, but the need for simple proof...
WOW sometimes my own twitters amaze me. I spent yesterday wandering around in my own brain, trying to figure out~ when did dying to myself mean I was to become someone else. Not a transformation from what I am to who He is, but from who I am to who I think they think I should be. Still "surrounded by people who don't think the way I do..."
There is a reality in my head that makes me not want to forget. But I'm forgetting half of the things I said and all of the reasons I said them. "This is who I am." I'm a thinker, a dreamer, a lover of many things not considered lovely by most. I'm the loner who doesn't always want to be alone. I don't want to sit and talk to you about Third Day, or the boards, or the tour... I want to talk about how Third Day has inspired you or me, how the boards have added another level of friendships to my (our) life, or how the tour has moved me/us to action to help create a better way of living for those less fortunate.
If your not one of my GOMERS I don't even want to discuss Third Day with you (outside of mentioning that Revelation ROCKS and you need to pre-order it), because you have no idea.
I want to talk to you about how beautiful the sky looks when God-kissed first thing in the morning, or the blushing of the evening sky as she gets ready to lay the day down. I want to feel the emotion in your eyes as you tell me about something you are passionate about. If you've spent any time with me, you know my passion for music. (Epically guitars~lol) Who are you? And why, after all of these years, do I have to ask you? Why don't I know you?
I've wondered if I'm so caught up in myself that I haven't been able to catch you. I'm seeking. I'm knocking. I'm open.
"I don't understand why we can't get close enough."
J
There is a reality in my head that makes me not want to forget. But I'm forgetting half of the things I said and all of the reasons I said them. "This is who I am." I'm a thinker, a dreamer, a lover of many things not considered lovely by most. I'm the loner who doesn't always want to be alone. I don't want to sit and talk to you about Third Day, or the boards, or the tour... I want to talk about how Third Day has inspired you or me, how the boards have added another level of friendships to my (our) life, or how the tour has moved me/us to action to help create a better way of living for those less fortunate.
If your not one of my GOMERS I don't even want to discuss Third Day with you (outside of mentioning that Revelation ROCKS and you need to pre-order it), because you have no idea.
I want to talk to you about how beautiful the sky looks when God-kissed first thing in the morning, or the blushing of the evening sky as she gets ready to lay the day down. I want to feel the emotion in your eyes as you tell me about something you are passionate about. If you've spent any time with me, you know my passion for music. (Epically guitars~lol) Who are you? And why, after all of these years, do I have to ask you? Why don't I know you?
I've wondered if I'm so caught up in myself that I haven't been able to catch you. I'm seeking. I'm knocking. I'm open.
"I don't understand why we can't get close enough."
J
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
"I'm surrounded by people who don't think like I do"
Church Sunday was interesting to say the least. I was told that my "chasing" after these bands was from a bad spirit even if they're Christian bands. (See my prior post on why we Gomers do what we do) That my desire to do the interviews, write the CD reviews, concert reviews ~ none of that is from God, and if I kept it up I would be in stubborn obstinance.
"Im looking to the sky to save me/Looking for a sign of life/Looking for something to help me burn out bright"
Sitting and staring for days. The one thing that I've had as an outlet to help me keep some sanity in all of this... The few bright moments spent with friends~ spent with my own feelings lately... none of that is from God? I've finally gotten to a real and honest level with my own skin but its not from Him.
I've had more phone and face to face conversations with "Houston, TX" and "Lutz, FL" than I've had with any member of my church this whole year. When asked, "How are you?" I've replied, "I'm still standing... I'm blogging all of it if you want to know the truth!" While laughing. No one has. They still look through me.
I'm the type who can't open up to people about my feelings very easily. I'm the one that makes you laugh. Come to me if you need to smile. If you need encouragement. (If you want me to promote something HAHHAHAHHHA... I'm your go-to-person for that.)
So do I go back inside me? Hold it all inside again so that it hurts to even smile? Be "fake" to fit in with the people who don't even think like I do? I wonder if some of the people at church were to actually go into their right brain what would they find.
I was told that if I wanted to see how much of a prayer covering was actually over Chance and myself, try leaving the church and I'd see. The sermons at my church are awesome. Its the only church I've gone to as a Christian. It has helped mold me into who I am. I've learned more there than I did in my whole life before there.
We'd live happily ever trapped/If you just save my life/Run and tell the angels/That everything is all right.... Im tired of trying
Philippians 1:7-11 NIV
j.
"Im looking to the sky to save me/Looking for a sign of life/Looking for something to help me burn out bright"
Sitting and staring for days. The one thing that I've had as an outlet to help me keep some sanity in all of this... The few bright moments spent with friends~ spent with my own feelings lately... none of that is from God? I've finally gotten to a real and honest level with my own skin but its not from Him.
I've had more phone and face to face conversations with "Houston, TX" and "Lutz, FL" than I've had with any member of my church this whole year. When asked, "How are you?" I've replied, "I'm still standing... I'm blogging all of it if you want to know the truth!" While laughing. No one has. They still look through me.
I'm the type who can't open up to people about my feelings very easily. I'm the one that makes you laugh. Come to me if you need to smile. If you need encouragement. (If you want me to promote something HAHHAHAHHHA... I'm your go-to-person for that.)
So do I go back inside me? Hold it all inside again so that it hurts to even smile? Be "fake" to fit in with the people who don't even think like I do? I wonder if some of the people at church were to actually go into their right brain what would they find.
I was told that if I wanted to see how much of a prayer covering was actually over Chance and myself, try leaving the church and I'd see. The sermons at my church are awesome. Its the only church I've gone to as a Christian. It has helped mold me into who I am. I've learned more there than I did in my whole life before there.
We'd live happily ever trapped/If you just save my life/Run and tell the angels/That everything is all right.... Im tired of trying
Philippians 1:7-11 NIV
j.
Friday, July 04, 2008
The DMV & Me
Yesterday I went to the DMV. I transferred my "THRDAY" tag over to Chance's Bronco II that he is officially getting today. **Just for the record I am wayyyyy to young to have a 16 year old!!**
DMV Clerk, "Thursday?"
"No, (giggle) its actually Third Day. They're a Christian rock band."
"Ah, I wonder how they got their name? What did God do on the third day."
**Blank stare not sure if she was kidding**
"Um, he created vegetation." (laughing out loud now)
"Really? Thats funny"
"Oh wait, there was that whole raised-from-the-dead thing too"
"Ah So are we not supposed to eat meat?"
*Realizing she is serious and has no idea what I'm talking about*
"No, we can eat meat. On the third day Jesus was raised from the dead as our savior."
"Shows you how much I go to church right?"
"Well you should come to my church, you'd have a blast! I go to an Assembly of God... we know how to rock!"
"I don't know.. I was raised Catholic, you know the whole stand-sit-kneel thing. The first time I went to church here in the south I was like whoa~ your not supposed to talk in church."
**haha**"Well it'd be hard for me to keep silent!"
"Have a great holiday"
"You too, hope to see you Sunday."
*Smile*
I dated a guy that was Catholic once. I wonder what Jerry is up to these days. He took me to church with him. I don't remember the whole stand-sit-kneel thing. I do remember not understanding half of what was going on, and Jerry's smile that day while watching me. Funny how sometimes all you remember is a look or a touch. I honestly don't remember what he said to get me there or what he said afterward. But I remember the way he looked at me and smiled at that moment.
Let your smile speak for you today. It might be all they remember on day....
DMV Clerk, "Thursday?"
"No, (giggle) its actually Third Day. They're a Christian rock band."
"Ah, I wonder how they got their name? What did God do on the third day."
**Blank stare not sure if she was kidding**
"Um, he created vegetation." (laughing out loud now)
"Really? Thats funny"
"Oh wait, there was that whole raised-from-the-dead thing too"
"Ah So are we not supposed to eat meat?"
*Realizing she is serious and has no idea what I'm talking about*
"No, we can eat meat. On the third day Jesus was raised from the dead as our savior."
"Shows you how much I go to church right?"
"Well you should come to my church, you'd have a blast! I go to an Assembly of God... we know how to rock!"
"I don't know.. I was raised Catholic, you know the whole stand-sit-kneel thing. The first time I went to church here in the south I was like whoa~ your not supposed to talk in church."
**haha**"Well it'd be hard for me to keep silent!"
"Have a great holiday"
"You too, hope to see you Sunday."
*Smile*
I dated a guy that was Catholic once. I wonder what Jerry is up to these days. He took me to church with him. I don't remember the whole stand-sit-kneel thing. I do remember not understanding half of what was going on, and Jerry's smile that day while watching me. Funny how sometimes all you remember is a look or a touch. I honestly don't remember what he said to get me there or what he said afterward. But I remember the way he looked at me and smiled at that moment.
Let your smile speak for you today. It might be all they remember on day....
Thursday, July 03, 2008
On the Third Day
So the third day of each month I shall be blogging about Third Day. Why? Because its the Gomer thing to do. Since there are only 24 more days until Revelation is released why don't I just cut and past my review? I know. Because I've already done that on here... but not on the third day! So for the ease of TIMEs sake ;) I shall waste a day of blog space in repeat. Next month I shall hold my thoughts inside until such a TIME as this!!
Third Day – Revelation
For everyone who wondered if they had seen the beginning of the end for Third Day, the band answers back with its best CD to date. From the opening track they proclaim "This is Who I Am."
"I’m the son of a good man, I’m the child of an angel," read the lyrics. "I’m the brother of a wild one, and I’m looking for direction, I’m the lover a beauty, I’m father of blessings, I’m the singer of a love song, but is that all I’m good for? This is who I am!"
The tune "Slow Down" reminds you, in case you forgot, that this is a rock band. Lead singer Mac Powell begins the song with words that make his intentions plain: "Alright," he says, "lets rock it." American Idol alum Chris Daughtry offer back-up vocals on the track. At one point, Powell delivers a strong lyrical play on words, "I can’t seam to work it out, so help me God!" that leaves no doubt they plan on delivering a rock CD from start to finish.
There are no "skip to the next" tracks on this CD. Even in the slower songs where you see the depth of pain that they have endured over the last couple of months: "What I thought was the best for me turn to be all the worst I could find. If I run to you will you hold me in your arms forevermore?"
The song "Run to You" gives a glimpse into the heart and soul of this band. Decisions made over the last couple of months were not callous, but rather had these men on their knees crying out for direction, as is evident on the CD’s title track: "Tell me should I stay here or do I need to move? Give me revelation, I’ve got nothing without you."
The band raises existing standards for Christian pop rock on "Otherside." The song may not find itself in heavy rotation for the family-friendly radio stations, but delivers the strongest punch of energy on the album. "Let Me Love You" is a tender love song for anyone struggling to find shelter in God’s arms through a tough season: "Give up on the other things, my love can bring you more...Come on let me love you now, Come on let me hold you through the storms, I will keep you safe and warm."
Bringing it back to the southern rock roots of the band is the song"I’ll always be true," whose lyrics read: "Everyday that I live, every breath that I breathe yes it was all for you... When you need a shoulder to cry on I’m here every time and when you need a hand to hold I’ll give you mine. I’ll always be true!"
Guest singer Lacey Mosley, of Flyleaf, adds a perfect compliment to Mac on "Born Again": "I have a feeling in my soul, and I pray that I’m not wrong. That the life I have now, it is only the beginning. It feels like I’m born again, it feels like I’m living, for the very first time."
Mac’s vocals on "Give Love" are the smoothest that he has ever laid down on any track. He effortlessly delivers what may be his best ballad ever: "Listen very closely as I sing this song, and please believe that I mean every word. When I say I love you I mean it with all my heart, let it be the best thing that you’ve ever heard"
"Caught Up in Yourself" and "Ready" bring more rock flavor to the CD, while "Take it All" slows back down: "Now I’m ready to let go, to give it away. Take it all because I can’t take it any longer. With all I have I can’t make it on my own."
This CD will have you ready to rock, and ready to fall in love with Third Day all over again. The CD drops into stores on July 29. Pre orders began on May 2 WHY DON'T YOU ALREADY HAVE IT ORDERED???
Third Day – Revelation
For everyone who wondered if they had seen the beginning of the end for Third Day, the band answers back with its best CD to date. From the opening track they proclaim "This is Who I Am."
"I’m the son of a good man, I’m the child of an angel," read the lyrics. "I’m the brother of a wild one, and I’m looking for direction, I’m the lover a beauty, I’m father of blessings, I’m the singer of a love song, but is that all I’m good for? This is who I am!"
The tune "Slow Down" reminds you, in case you forgot, that this is a rock band. Lead singer Mac Powell begins the song with words that make his intentions plain: "Alright," he says, "lets rock it." American Idol alum Chris Daughtry offer back-up vocals on the track. At one point, Powell delivers a strong lyrical play on words, "I can’t seam to work it out, so help me God!" that leaves no doubt they plan on delivering a rock CD from start to finish.
There are no "skip to the next" tracks on this CD. Even in the slower songs where you see the depth of pain that they have endured over the last couple of months: "What I thought was the best for me turn to be all the worst I could find. If I run to you will you hold me in your arms forevermore?"
The song "Run to You" gives a glimpse into the heart and soul of this band. Decisions made over the last couple of months were not callous, but rather had these men on their knees crying out for direction, as is evident on the CD’s title track: "Tell me should I stay here or do I need to move? Give me revelation, I’ve got nothing without you."
The band raises existing standards for Christian pop rock on "Otherside." The song may not find itself in heavy rotation for the family-friendly radio stations, but delivers the strongest punch of energy on the album. "Let Me Love You" is a tender love song for anyone struggling to find shelter in God’s arms through a tough season: "Give up on the other things, my love can bring you more...Come on let me love you now, Come on let me hold you through the storms, I will keep you safe and warm."
Bringing it back to the southern rock roots of the band is the song"I’ll always be true," whose lyrics read: "Everyday that I live, every breath that I breathe yes it was all for you... When you need a shoulder to cry on I’m here every time and when you need a hand to hold I’ll give you mine. I’ll always be true!"
Guest singer Lacey Mosley, of Flyleaf, adds a perfect compliment to Mac on "Born Again": "I have a feeling in my soul, and I pray that I’m not wrong. That the life I have now, it is only the beginning. It feels like I’m born again, it feels like I’m living, for the very first time."
Mac’s vocals on "Give Love" are the smoothest that he has ever laid down on any track. He effortlessly delivers what may be his best ballad ever: "Listen very closely as I sing this song, and please believe that I mean every word. When I say I love you I mean it with all my heart, let it be the best thing that you’ve ever heard"
"Caught Up in Yourself" and "Ready" bring more rock flavor to the CD, while "Take it All" slows back down: "Now I’m ready to let go, to give it away. Take it all because I can’t take it any longer. With all I have I can’t make it on my own."
This CD will have you ready to rock, and ready to fall in love with Third Day all over again. The CD drops into stores on July 29. Pre orders began on May 2 WHY DON'T YOU ALREADY HAVE IT ORDERED???
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Monday, June 30, 2008
when I climb down this mountain and get back to my life... I won't settle for ordinary things
I was talking to a very sweet person this weekend. He is a member of a band that I love. At the risk of sounding like a fan-addict I confessed that I will be attending 7 shows this year. He appeared amazed and stated something along the line of... I hope we can keep it interesting for you. I couldn't help but smile. Lo after all these years they still don't get it do they? I wonder if any band outside of Third Day understands the Gomers. (And sometimes I wonder if Third Day really gets it) I do not fly out to Texas just to see Third Day, or Jars of Clay, or the Music Builds tour. (I did fly there one time to see NeedToBreathe but there were other circumstances built around that HAHA) I, like all the others I know, plan our show travels around who else is going to be at a particular show. We've made friends online but we get together and bond those ties without the "60 second rule." We come from all sorts of backgrounds and various religions, yet when we get together all that matters is the lyrics of the song Creed. We believe in God the Father... I don't care if they're Baptist and they don't mind if I'm Assembly of God. It's like that old blog post that I did a year or so ago. We are one body. And from a medical view, our body (made primarily of water... some in the form of blood) has many different functioning systems. We have a liver and kidneys that both work as filters for the blood. Yet neither of them have the same output. They go about the process differently. They use different triggering agents. They look different, act different yet produce the same effect. If either of them fail both of them will.
We travel to shows because its a glimpse here of what there is going to be like. We've fallen in love with the fellowship of people who love the same God. We've even broken off into sub groups and still travel together. (Jars, Toby, Crowder, DecembeRadio, NeedToBreathe... the list goes on)
And on a not-so-spiritual-but-still-real where the rubber meets the road level... We travel to the shows because we get to wake up in a different city every night. We know how to order the hash browns at Waffle House without studying the menu. We live like rock stars for a few days of the week before heading back to the mediocrity of life. We know we've been a part of something larger than us and we come back a little more changed each time. We thank you bands for giving us a common ground to travel too. But seriously, its not about you ;)
We travel to shows because its a glimpse here of what there is going to be like. We've fallen in love with the fellowship of people who love the same God. We've even broken off into sub groups and still travel together. (Jars, Toby, Crowder, DecembeRadio, NeedToBreathe... the list goes on)
And on a not-so-spiritual-but-still-real where the rubber meets the road level... We travel to the shows because we get to wake up in a different city every night. We know how to order the hash browns at Waffle House without studying the menu. We live like rock stars for a few days of the week before heading back to the mediocrity of life. We know we've been a part of something larger than us and we come back a little more changed each time. We thank you bands for giving us a common ground to travel too. But seriously, its not about you ;)
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