It has been a day of emotions. Mom went in for the needle localization prior to surgery (to identify for the surgeon the exact location of the tumor). While in the x-ray department the radiologist told her that the tumor was on the chest wall and that a complete mastectomy was necessary. (This was against her surgeon’s advice... this is the same surgeon that did my dad surgery. As an ex O.R. nurse I’m very particular who does the surgery.)

Once she gets over to the OR suite she is very emotional, and has signed consents for the total procedure at this time. The surgeon comes out to the waiting room and gets me and my friend Stacey (also an ex OR nurse). After calming her down we get her to agree with the surgeon and change the procedure to the simple mastectomy (also known as a lumpectomy) with fresh frozen sections to determine margins. The surgeon came out after the procedure and told us that he got clear margins with negative nodes. He is setting her up tomorrow for mammosite treatments.

I helped take her home. Got her comfortable and left her to get some sleep. While calling to check up on her this evening, my dad states that she has a rash now all over her body. I told him to call the surgeon. He had already done that without any response yet. I told him to give her benadryl for now and to hold her abx. She already has an appointment for in the AM. I told him to watch her respiratory rate and go to the ER if she becomes short of breath. I wonder what people who don’t have nurses or MD’s around do when something like this arises?

So all is quiet now. I’m completely exhausted, and I wonder if I am free to cry now? Its times like this that I realize that friends are great, but I really need someone in my life to be a rock, and source of strength when I can’t be any longer.